The Pot & Kettle Lyrics - The Rumjacks

One smoky day in a darkened scullery 

Doon by the river in a factory town 

Where bad things happen & the walls are drippn' 

And the ghosts are flittin' frae the cold hard ground 

A pot & kettle on the hob were settled 

A' hissin' their patter so bileous cruel 

An awfy matter o' clout & claterin' 

Battlin' wits in a hideous duel 

Lids a rattlin' belchin steam 

Life aint nothin but a fevered dream 

'Youre a lowly villain' 

'Youre a terrible liar' 

'But were both here cookin on the same old fire' 

Guts a bubblin belchin steam 

Life aint nothin but a fevered dream 

'Youre a chanty pot' 

'And youre a shite for brains' 

'But were both here hangin on the same old chains' 

"Ive roasted a wealth of exotic things 

All torn to ribbons at the hands of kings 

Polished copper how I proudly shone 

Stealin the fire of the blazing sun" 

"Ye've boilt nae mair'n 'em old soup bones 

Ive boilt the tea for them stately homes 

I were rattled like a drum each Hogmanay 

Then scrubbed tae the devil on the follwin' day" 

"O kettle yer metal is a terrible hue 

Riddled wi' holes cannae hold yer brew 

Yer lids all crooked & yer sides bashed in 

It'll no be long afore ye see the bin" 

"Pot your not so bright as me 

A hags old cauldron is all you'd be 

You reek o' gruel & yourenone too young 

Fit for to carry but the peels & dung" 

Lids a rattlin' belchin steam 

Life aint nothin but a fevered dream 

'Youre a lowly villain' 

'Youre a terrible liar' 

'But were both here cookin on the same old fire' 

Guts a bubblin belchin steam 

Life aint nothin but a fevered dream 

'Youre an old piss bucket' 

'Youre a dented can' 

'But we're neither as black as that roasting pan..'