Natalie's Rap Lyrics - Incredibad - The Lonely Island

[Parnell] 

We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman. 

[Portman] 

Hello. 

[Parnell] 

So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like? 

[Portman] 

Do you really want to know? 

[Parnell] 

Yes, tell us 

[Portman] 

I don't sleep motherfucker 

Off that yak and Durban 

Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving 

[Seth Meyers] 

Damn Natalie you a crazy chick 

[Portman] 

Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick 

I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker 

Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker 

(What you want Natalie) 

[Portman] 

To drink and fight 

(what you need Natalie) 

[Portman] 

To fuck all night 

Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue 

Put my foot down your throat 

Till you shit in my shoe 

Leave you screaming 

Pay for my dry cleaning 

Fuck your man 

It's my name that he's screaming 

[Parnell] 

I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated? 

[Portman] 

I never said I was a role model. 

[Parnell] 

What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them? 

[Portman] 

All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick 

It's Portman mother fucker 

Drink till I'm sick 

Slit your throat 

And poor nitrous down the hole 

Watch you laugh and cry 

While I laugh you die 

And all the dudes 

You know I'm talking to you 

(we love you Natalie) 

I wanna fuck you too 

P is for Portman 

P is for pussy! 

I'll kill your fucking dog for fun so don't push me 

[Parnell] 

Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate. 

[Portman] 

Well there's a lot you may not know about me. 

[Parnell] 

Really? Such as? 

When I was in Harvard 

I smoked weed every day 

I cheated every test 

And snorted all the yay 

I gotta a def posse 

And you gotta buncha dudes 

I sit right down on your face and take a shit 

[Andy Samberg] 

Natalie you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!) 

And I always pay for your dry cleaning 

When my shit gets in your shoe (What!?) 

As for the drug use 

Well I can vouch for that 

My dick is scared of you 

Girl 

[Parnell] 

Okie-doke. One final question, 

If you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, 

Who would it 

[Portman] 

No more questions