A Year And An Ocean Lyrics - Singles - The Khayembii Communique

i'm trying too hard to forget to just be me. 

forgetting to forget the imagined audience. 

who i wish would understand me, 

yet never know me. 

because i can't bear to show what i don't know. 

this is why i discuss trivialities. 

this is why i seem so strong. 

because my shell won't be cracked if i make sure you never find out how to. 

yet i want to open up. 

i want to see who i am. 

i want to see. 

but it terrifies me to think that maybe you love me for what i say and not who i am. 

My politics just aren't me; 

just another wall between you and i. 

The select few who've seen through the facade, 

i pushed away in horror. 

afraid of what they knew. 

i withheld so much about myself to keep a fucked-up advantage 

and now i see i never had anything to gain. 

so now there's no more trying to "Just be me". 

no more hiding behind a language. just expose myself for what i've been; 

a fraud, 

cashing in on rhetoric 

that i learned to abuse, 

what i used to push you away. 

that i used to win even though.. every single time i lost. 

every single time.