Big-ass Rock Lyrics - Singles - The Full Monty

Let's find a rock, I mean a big-ass rock 

Or maybe something like, a cinder block is better 

I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face, my buddy 

And just before the lights go out 

You'll see my smile and you'll know 

You've got a friend with a rock, who cares 

I mean a big-ass rock 

Or rope, I got some quality rope 

Made for a man who's devoid of hope 

Like you are, my buddy, Michael 

Unh, that's Malcolm! Yeah, Malcolm, Right! 

And I won't leave you swinging there 

Twitching like a fish while you claw the air 

I'll grab your feet and pal of mine 

I'll pull real hard and snap your spinal cord 

This world is cold when you're alone and they ignore you 

But don't kill yourself, we'll do it for you 

You've got a friend 

You've got a friend 

You've got a friend 

You know, I asked a guy once 

If he'd mind putting me in a barrel 

And sending me over the falls 

You know what the son of a bitch said? 

"Drop dead, asshole" 

People are pricks 

I asked this guy to take his air compressor 

And drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye 

What'd he say? "I'm low on nails" 

People are selfish pricks 

You know another time, now get this 

I lay down in front of a steam roller 

And asked the guy just to proceed 

You know, business as usual 

And just squash me like a bug 

That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash 

Hey! We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head 

Naw, that's such a wimp suicide 

I stuck my finger in a socket once 

It hurt real bad, but it didn't kill me 

Malcolm, stay out of this 

I've got a friend like Carole King 

Or was it Carly Simon used to sing? 

I always get those two confused, but anyway 

I turned around and suddenly 

I'm not alone, it ain't just me 

I'm like a player on the team 

(Player on our team) 

I'm part of the gang 

(Part of the gang) 

A member of the club 

(Welcome to the club) 

Ooh, let's get a club, I like the big-ass rock 

Naw, one good swing and I'll clean his clock forever 

Let gravity do the work! 

It's a man's way to die, Mikey! Malcolm! 

(I got friends) 

Friends who will love you like a maniac 

And lead you like a lamb 

To the railroad track and tie you down 

I've got friends! 

Or tickle your wrist with a single-edge razor 

Or buy you a beer with a Draino chaser 

Or dump you in the river with a rock 

A big-ass rock 

Here's a nice one right over here 

Hey, can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy 

No, Dave, It ain't heavy, he's my friend 

Come on, group hug