A Candymaker's Knife In My Handbag Lyrics - Singles - The Fiery Furnaces

A Candymaker's Knife in my Handbag 

A night out in the tropics 

Turned out I couldn't cope 

After the School of Fancy Cookery 

With Antoinette Pope 

I learned brazing and saucing, meringue and sift 

Knead, flute and flour 

Each Thursday for an hour 

Cobblers and plum cakes, tarts savory and sweet 

A candymaker's knife in my handbag 

A candymaker's knife in my handbag 

Well I learned brazing and saucing, meringue and sift 

Knead, flute and flour 

Each Thursday for an hour 

Cobblers and plum cakes, tarts savory and sweet 

A candymaker's knife in my handbag 

A candymaker's knife in my handbag 

That night I was to meet my husband's father, for the very first time 

I wore the scarf he sent to me 

French silk, scarlet blue and cream 

He sits, he waits, a coffee on his knee 

I wonder if it's as bad as it might seem 

Zapped by the Zombie 

Zapped, zapped by the Zombie 

Zapped by the Zombie in the two-door Dodge 

Twice-baked brioche and pastry pockets 

And lock its two-door Dodge 

Zapped by the Zombie 

Zapped, zapped by the Zombie 

Zapped by the Zombie in the two-door Dodge 

And I did not fail 

To bust off a nail as the Dodge door handle dodges my hand 

Delicate, delicate hold my hand 

Delicate nectarine upside-down chiffon cake 

Dodge down the downtown loop the loop lightly 

Hazelnut baby loaves 

Hazelnut baby loaves 

Hold my hand inside-out upside-down marzipan Milanese 

My brain is a blur 

Hodge-podge - cardinal slice - two-door, brand new 

What am I gonna do 

'Cause on the street the amber lights were hellish hot 

And the wind in the windows was not giving air 

And tropical Napeolons 

But it was too late and I didn't care 

And I didn't care 

Because first I went to meet Dr. Christopolous and his wife Claudette 

Who at the time was my close girlfriend 

They picked my up in their brand-new Dodge 

And we went to Trader Vic's, or Mr. Rick's 

And I ordered, like the others, a Zombie 

And it bombed me, it just bombed me 

And when we got to the stoop my father-in-law said "Were you attacked?" 

My aunt, being helpful, said something that made my heart just go sunk 

And with a look on her face like something had stunk 

"She's just drunk!" she hissed 

I reached for the arm of the armchair and missed 

A night out in the tropics 

Turned out I couldn't cope 

After the School of Fancy Cookery 

With Antoinette Pope 

I wore the scarf he sent to me 

French silk, scarlet blue and cream 

He sits, he waits, a coffee on his knee 

I wonder if it's as bad as it might seem