Me And Jesus The Pimp In A '79 Granada Last Night Lyrics - The Coup

[Boots] 

Well, he was smilin' like a vulture as he rolled up the horticulture 

Ignited it, and said, "I hope the vapors don't insult ya" 

What I replied denied, but he mixin weed and hop 

His head was noddin' up and down like he agreed a lot 

Bored, said, "We need a plot," I comply, "Let's leave the spot" 

Hopped in the Granada, he's impressed by the beat I got 

His name is "hay-zoos" but his pimp name is "gee-zus" 

Slapped a hoe to pieces with his plastic prosthesis 

"Nigga don't you know that I'm your daddy?" said he 

This is true, plus he schooled me for my mackin' degree 

"Never plea, try not to flee, make niggaz pee when you stick around" 

This man my momma had found taught me to put it down 

I press the gas to the ground to show that I'm a hound 

Makin' sho' that get rubber sound is heard throughout the town 

Thirty years ago, Jesus could pull a hoe quick 

But now he 50 and his belly hangs lower than his dick 

Philosophy that he spit stuck in my memory chips 

And now he puttin' in a disk of Gladys Knight and the Pips 

Then that shit starts to skip, he said, "Somebody musta scratch it" 

Put the 40 to his lips and poured the contents down the hatchet 

Well since my adolescense, cause of his pimp lessons 

smack my woman in the dental just for askin' silly questions 

Relationship reduction to either rock the box or suction 

Ain't got no close potnahs, socially I cain't function 

From the pen he would scribe, on how to survive: 

"Don't be Microsoft, be Macintosh with a Hard Drive" 

Used to tell me all the time to keep a bitch broke 

Did I mention that my momma was his number one hoe? 

Clunked the 40 on the flo' and placed his palm on the dash 

and wheezed out, "C'mon man, make this motherfucker mash!" 

Ain't gon' mash too fast, cause my tags ain't right 

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night 

Chorus: *sung* (2X) 

Oakland do you wanna ride? 

I can't hear you! Oakland do you wanna ride tonight? 

[Boots] 

City lights from far way can makeyou drop yo' jaw 

Sparklin' like sequins on a transvestite at Mardi Gras 

There's beauty in the cracks of the cement 

When I was five I hopped over them wherever we went to prevent 

whatever it was that could break my momma's back 

Little did I know that it would roll up in a Cadillac 

And matta-fact, she couldn't see him like a cataract 

And on the track, she went from beautiful to battleaxe 

And back at home, she would cry into her pillow 

Vomit in the commode, I was six years old 

I would crawl onto her lap and we would hug and hold 

She asked me what I thought of Jesus when he broke off some bread 

I said, "He missin' a arm, and he seem like a pee-pee head" 

She said, "Don't cuss," and my teeth to go brush 

And get ready for bed, and the toilet to flush 

With tears in my momma's eyes, I was her everything 

Before she went out on the stroll 

She'd tuck me into bed and sing: 

You're much too beautiful for words (4X) 

I see the red and white lights as the ambulance flies 

Reminds me of midnight in a dopefiend's eyes 

And my 9-year-old self as paramedics leave 

Left to ball my eyes out on a neighbor's sleeve 

To make illustrations that are clear and clean 

I'll take you two hours back before this scene: 

Early in the morning when the sun starts to creep 

When the birds start to chirp and crackheads go to sleep 

Moms was comin' in I heard her keys go clink 

Wearin' nothin' but pumps, bikini, and fake mink 

Even though she served, for fifty dollars-a-pop 

Hardly had enough for rent after Jesus re-copped 

That day the landlady got her rent befo' he got his knot 

Slammed momma's head against the front bolt lock 

Then the pump wit one arm done harm 

Reached back and plowed into her head like a farm 

Never saw the act, locked in the back, I was cussin' 

Heard the blap blap of tewnty headcrack percussion 

and body blows, her body froze from bolo's to the spine 

I was hysterically cryin', all she could do was whine 

She didn't even have the strength to say, "I love you Boo" 

But I said it to her and she knew that I knew 

She was dead by the time the ambulance got on the case 

But I never will forget the plastic hand stuck in her face 

Stop at the intersection to ask Jesus 'bout directions 

"S go to Frisco.." (I got very friendly vocal inflections) 

Mob a left at MacArthur to continue in flight 

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night 

Chorus 

[Boots] 

The rain dropped giant pearls, God was pissin' on the world 

or that old man who was snorin' rolled on over and earled 

My temperatyre gayge read "cold and blistery" 

Spinnin' wheels made each piece of asphault history 

This was Jesus debut out the penitentiary 

Fifteen years, but it seem like a century 

See, he went in the pen for some other murder drama 

Twelve years old when I wrote him quote I wanna be a pimp comma 

You accidentally killed my mom, no playa hation points 

You know how bitches act, shit exclamation points 

First it was a set up move, then it was the truth 

His letters were the only thing I had as a youth 

But his lopsided game, see, was really counterfeit 

So my little son Dominic thinks that I'm a dick 

Cause I was runnin' 'round like a little baby Jesus 

To me women had to be saints, hoes, or skeezers 

And I don't think that it's gon' end til we make revolution 

But who gon' make the shit if we worship prostitution? 

Ain't no women finna die for the same ol' conclusion 

Put they life on the line so some other pimp could use 'em 

Pulled into a vacant lot, the road to recovery 

Pulled out my pistol as we brushed against the shrubbery 

Jesus said, "Why the hell you pointin' a gat?" 

So I pulled a piece of game I could use out the hat 

I said, "This trip is over, we ain't finna ride on 

This is for my mental and my momma that I cried on 

Microsoft motherfuckers let bygones be bygones 

but since I'm Macintosh, I'ma double click your icons" 

He struggled for life, then gave up the fight 

Me and Jesus the Pimp in a '79 Granada last night 

Chorus