Y-shaped Thoracoabdominalincision Lyrics - Singles - The County Medical Examiners

...Alphabetic diagram... 

...Of the gross exam... 

Medical examiners are detectives, who forensically 

sift through a body of evidence 

It's rarely simple, as you can see...the organs are on 

the inside 

We open up the corpse to find the clues that point to 

an explanation that might make sense 

Let's crack the cadaver open for a little peek and 

document what we find... 

...With scalpel in hand... 

...I hatch the plan... 

Whether man, woman, child-the procedure is always the 

same 

Beginning the medicolegal autopsy isn't very hard 

The thoracoabdominal incision is the name of this 

turgidly morbid game 

And the letter "Y" is the shape that we must carve... 

All ME's worth their salt keep a blade of their own 

And have their scalpel professionally sharpened, 

polished, and honed 

Because of its ability to cut through skin, meat, 

gristle, and bone 

We keep track of it from the opening of the corpse to 

when it is sewn... 

...I must confess... 

...This will make a mess... 

...The stiff is ripe and putrefied... 

...I scalpel the mephitic skin... 

...And trace the letter "Y"... 

...So the autopsy begins... 

In order to field dress this cadaver we cut from the 

bottom of the neck to above the crotch 

Some pathologists prefer to first puncture the bloated 

corpse to release built-up methane gas 

Simply grasp the scalpel and apply downward pressure 

at the jugular notch 

You'll find the skin will slice like butter, revealing 

subcutaneous tissue and ballooning yellow fat... 

...No time to flinch... 

...Only amateurs cringe... 

Draw the blade down over the body of the sternum and 

breastplate 

Past the manubrium and xiphoid process and 

costoxiphoid ligament group 

Split the rectus abdominal muscle without a measure of 

haste 

Then stop and wipe your brow and take a moment to 

recoup... 

Peel back the flayed skin and shear it from the muscle 

sides 

Taking the retractors, spread the carcass wide 

Costal cartilage snaps from each of the ribs so we may 

look inside 

The inner organs sit on display-glistening-with 

nothing to hide... 

...You've earned your degree... 

...In the art of necropsy... 

...The stiff is ripe and putrefied... 

...I scalpel the mephitic skin... 

...And trace the letter "Y"... 

...So the autopsy begins...