Can't Con An Honest John Lyrics - Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living - Streets

Using the following, I'm going to show you 

(A) 

How to con someone using their own greed, 'B' 

(B) 

That you won't feel bad 'cos 

They're trying to con you anyway, and, 'C' 

Taking their money, as I have come to realize 

Running the beats is just getting people's confidence 

This scam only works 'cos that man 

Thinks he's working this scam 

And that you man off his mark 

Get your mate, let's call your mate Piers 

No, not Piers, let's call him Farquhar 

Anyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dog 

Like I said, the barman will try and con you later 

But you're gonna take all his money 

Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local bar 

And call to the bar to look after a dog for a dart 

Just for twenty quid for a while, claiming that he hated it 

But it was worth more than his car 

This, by the way, requires 

That you find and supply Farquhar 

With an animal, and a life, from your local park 

Get a nice dog that doesn't bark 

But not so nice that someone might 

Miss this mutt from the park 

Anyway, using this technique 

You're gonna take all this man's money 

But you're not gonna care 

'Cos he's gonna fucking deserve it 

You'll never con an honest John 

An honest John you can't drag down 

(Exactly) 

Con-do-lee get conned 

When they think they're the cunning one 

(It's all one big con) 

Neighbor you won't con 

An honest John 

Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the bar 

And just shop for some garm's, maybe 

Just to pass an hour or so 

I would go shopping 'cos I gave up drinking 

But whatever, just have Farquhar down the road 

Now you walk in the bar, walk up to the barman 

Order a jar, when you've caught him slouched on his own 

Start eying the dog that he's minding by his side 

Currently vibe him and start on about the dog you own 

Start asking the barman, if it's his fine specimen of a dog 

Nod, smile, agree, look interested and cool 

When he tells you it's someone else's you've just left previous 

Tell him, 'This is a very rare breed of animal' 

Last time I lied my manager swiped me 

But lie and tell him it's like a fucking 

Red-eared hunting Spaniel 

Tell him it's worth six-hundred quid 

And you would pay handsomely 

If you were to accept finance at all 

You'll never con an honest John 

(Sometimes) 

An honest John you can't drag down 

(Sometimes I think I should just go completely) 

Con-do-lee get conned 

When they think they're the cunning one 

Neighbor you won't con an honest John 

(Keep listening though 

It's important that you keep listening) 

Now take all his shopping off him 

Get your mate Farquhar to pop in 

Looking straight gutted a bit later on 

He should order a jar, talk at the bar 

Ensure he looks calm, warm with the barman 

And generally start conversating on 

Farquhar should start falling apart 

About how he's arsed up some chance 

And how arsed up his day was 

Or in the event, the spread betting 

He's getting ready to accept 

That his rent's not getting payed up 

The barmans mind will chime slowly for a while 

He might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums 

Farquhar should continue to moan about money 

And that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries 

And like 'ching', the barman will five out of six times 

Kindly offer his greed to buy 

The dog for a price of three hundred quid 

And after some bartering 

Your barman will haggle 

And charge harder 

In greed of the scent 

Of the scheme in his head 

(That's right, neighbor) 

You'll never con an honest John 

An honest John you can't drag down 

Con-do-lee get conned 

When they think they're the cunning one 

(The barman, is gonna see 

How much he can stitch you up for) 

Neighbor you won't con an honest John 

(How does that work? 

'Cos' every time it's based around 

Someone who thinks they're conning you) 

They'll never imagine the whole scenario 

Is prepared solely for him, why should he? 

That sort of paranoia 

Can get you in the loony bin 

As I have come to realize 

Running the beats is 

Just getting people's confidence 

And then taking their money 

It's all one big con