You Caught Me Spankin It Lyrics - Stephen Lynch

I came down to the breakfast table 

Felt like I could die 

I tried so hard but wasn't able 

To Look you in the eye 

For I am feeling so much shame 

Yes I have brought disgrace 

I can tell i've soiled my good name, by the look upon your face 

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it 

No use denyin' it, i was really crankin it 

so dry your eyes, dont be so sad 

if you could just forgive me 

and talk to me dad 

talk to me dad. 

No I didnt hear you enter no i didnt hear the door 

with my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor 

now burnt into your brain is an image you depise 

like blood and guts and starvin' kids and stevie wonder's eyes 

well it seems last night you caught me spankin it 

no use denyin' it i was really crankin it 

well dry your eyes, dont be so sad 

but i wouldnt use those tissues theyve already been had, 

talk to me dad 

Yeah the look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish 

So I said, could you close the door i really wanna finish 

now the daddy im ashamed and id completley understand if you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand 

Well it seemed last night you caught me spankin it 

no use denyin' it well i was really crankin it 

well dry your eyes, dont be so sad 

just because it was your bed, its not that bad 

when I was only seventeen you told me it was dirty so it must be really creepy when your kid is pushin thirty 

But you cannot tell me dad you have never had a whack at the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack 

well it seems last night, you caught me spankin it 

no use denyin it was really crankin it 

Now dry your eyes and don't be sad, but i wouldnt use those tissues they've already been, just because it was your bed its not that, oh daddy daddy please forgive me, and talk to me dad.