Grandfather Lyrics - Stephen Lynch

When Grandfather dies, life will be strange 

When Grandfather dies, my whole life will change 

When Grandfather dies, I'll scream and I'll yell 

'Coz I'll be fucking rich as hell. 

So Grandfather die, dont keep me in suspense 

So Grandfather cough, up that inheritance 

So Grandfather don't, hold on another day 

I love you to death, but I gots bills to pay. 

A stroke would be nice, 

Disease would be cool, 

I'll scatter his ashes in my new swimming pool 

I'll party with Heff, I'll dine with the Queen, 

So whats say we unplug that machine. 

Oh Grandfather die, before the fiscal year, 

Oh Grandfather I, wish Kevorkian were here 

Oh Grandfather fly, just take your final bow. 

Oh Grandfather die, family hates you any how. 

For God sakes you must be as old as the Sun, 

Your social security number is one 

Your deaf, dumb and blind and an amputee 

You donate your blood, every time that you pee. 

Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains 

Your so old your penis has varicose veins, 

Oh why don't you die Grampa, why must you fight? 

You old mother fucker, just walk toward the god damned light 

Walk toward the light old man, walk toward the light old man 

Its all over now, my Grandad is dead 

A mysterious blow to his wrinkled old head. 

Before I collect a small oversight 

But everything should work alright 

I'll start working on my Grandma tonight.