Lost That Pretty Little Gal Of Mine (to Title Ix) Lyrics - Small Fred

I lost that pretty little gal of mine to Title Nine. 

I found her in the stands but I lost her at the finish line 

She was so soft and sweet 

But now I find I can't compete 

I lost that gal of mine to Title IX. 

Sure, I put my money on Billie Jean. 

But that damn King has taken away my queen. 

She learned a topspin 

Now she won't let me win 

She doesn't want me on her doubles team. 

Her old letters made my heart melt 

Now they're on her sweater and they're made of felt 

In her bikini she used to look so cute 

Now she does laps in her navy blue tank suit. 

She does windsprints, I do the wash 

I stuff zucchini while she's playing squash 

On a date I'm so tense 

She's itchin' to try her self defense 

And violence I cannot bear to watch. 

Her old soft spots are hard today 

The problem I've got's just the other way 

She used to cheer me as I ran my race 

Now I find I can't keep her pace.