Women Lose Weight Lyrics - Slick Rick

(Chorus) 

What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

(Verse 1) 

The name of this entertainement is 'Women lose weight' 

Our first years of mariage everything was just great 

But after two kids And a weight gain factor 

The fact is Now she's completely unattractive 

Look fat chicks I don't mean to sound rude 

I tell her nice hit the gym And don't eat so much food 

But no Your shallow 

You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth 

But how if desire's is not there That's just delayment 

Divorce is, child support, alimony payments 

My happiness i doubt discouraged 

So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage 

Meanwhile my secretary June well groomed 

When you gonna leave your wife I tell her soon mommy soon, i assume 

Or my destiny is blue Interestingly The only thing left for me to do is to kill her 

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(Chorus) 

What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

I'm gonna have to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss 

What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

I'm gonna have to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss 

(Verse 2) 

My plans against or shenanigans Kinda ran thin 

Knowin' nothing about poisoning And i can't swim 

Bad intentions pumping Might as well become numb 

Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong 

But the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this 

Who can i get to help me murder this fat chick 

I guess i'll have to play a dude robbin 

on wednesday The day she usually goes food shopping 

Anyway long story short hit the side of her Chrysler 

And sent her clean over the divider 

"You bastard" she said 

as the wreck went tumblin down the hill I thought "she has to be dead" 

Later on get a call (from a) Lieutenant O'Rourke 

(had me) leapin like a frog We need you at the morgue 

So i selfishly persue 

"boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do i had to kill her 

Photos 

(Chorus) 

What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

C'mon ya'll know i had to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss Kill her 

What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

i had to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss 

(Verse 3) 

So you mean to tell me officer you don't have no clue who did this hit and run 

No sir we don't have no clues right now 

This is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids? 

Pull yourself together sir 

I'm so broken up inside i just can't believe this 

I understand, I understand 

Catch the person who did this 

We're gonna try sir Please 

Screamin "who done took my heart" acting shakin up a lot 

At the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it 

Like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring 

"I heard he was displeased with her weight gain" 

While my secretary sort of a sexy blonde can't cook 

All she does is order from restaurants 

All of the sex you want I doubt could adress, 

clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and 

Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside 

How i took a long lunch break day the wife died 

I darn near turned pale 

And because of betrayal they indicted me, and gave me an impossible bail 

Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent 

Moral of the story is 

Desire is important 

So watch your weight It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given 

Though looking back i realised i didn't have to kill her 

(Chorus) 

What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

I didn't have to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss 

I killed her 

What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor 

I didn't have to kill her 

Of course there's laws which enforces divorces 

Send that ass right to the morgue miss 

Well there you have it Keep thin trim Keep your mariage healthy Do you know what i mean? 

Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the ruler 

Peace