Sassy Britches Lyrics - Self

i once knew a girl named sassy britches 

and she would call my name 3000 times a day 

she was running round town burning bridges 

and now my ride homes never quite the same 

i once knew a girl named sassy britches 

and i swear unto you it's her god given name 

i told her friends they're stuckup bitches 

and now my napkin's soaked with bloodstains 

the more you learn the less you know 

i'll bet everything is fine 

i'll bet everything is fine 

the more you see the less you show 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

her family showered me with countless riches 

yet i'm in a bit of a bind 

i need much more than that 

maybe i can sell her cooking - classy, tasty, delicious dishes 

then give my spiel about how it's imported 

the less you seed the more you grow 

i'll bet nothing is on time 

i'll bet nothing is ever on time 

the more you see the less you show 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

i need something i can't find 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

this shit happens all the time 

i still know a girl named sassy britches 

and her voice comforts me flying right thru thin air 

now i've taken time off work to protest her wishes 

but noone's ever around 

is there anyone there 

the more you learn the less you know 

i'll bet you're all out of line 

i'll bet you're all out of line 

(turn around with the wrong reaction) 

(fake us out with a cheap distraction) 

the more you reap the more you owe 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

oh yeah everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

oh yeah, everything is fine 

this shit happens all the time 

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oh miss britches, sassy and sweet 

tell me what more could a young girl be 

i've got a punk rock band called love 

we've got songs that consist of 

8-bar sections, gritty and brash 

we got a gig opening for the clash 

everyone clowned us, sassy oh sassy 

what makes a punk rocker treat us so nasty 

mountain dew and a pierced eardrum 

what makes a punk rock act so dumb 

velvet postcards i'll send ya miss britches 

bit my tongue and received nine stitches 

bitches and ho's always come to the shows 

popping sugar and butterscotch in the nose and it shows 

cause they'll lose their hair like ted danson 

snatch up all the kiddies and then hold 'em all for ransom 

burn all your bridges and then build 'em back with plastic 

little old ladies makin' cookies from elastica 

and it don't stop there! 

ex-bass players all have blue hair 

boo-boop-be-doop-a-shang-a-lang-coccoa-puff 

kurt haggadorn has a self big-muff 

betcha makes ya dizzy watch the big wax spin 

turn it up to 20, just a suggestion 

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