Dead Man Blues Lyrics - Scatterbrain

[Brogna / Christ] 

I went to a doctor with a pain in my head 

He said: "Tumor boy! Six months you're dead, 

It's gonna be slow and painful 

It ain't gonna be no fun" 

So I went home and decided 

I'll end it now my life's done 

Game Over, end of the ride 

It's suicide!!! 

So I took out a shotgun, I put it in my mouth 

I put it in too far, I gagged then ralphed 

I jumped in front of a truck 

I missed and only felt a breeze 

Then I tried a bus, the driver stopped and said: 

"Exact change, please!!!" 

I survived, was still alive! 

I dropped a toaster in the tub with me 

It did wonders for my hair 

Was gonna drive myself right off a cliff 

Got lost on my way there 

I took a jar of sleeping pills 

But all I did was snooze 

I can't do nothing right 

I got the Dead Man Blues! 

Can't get it right 

I'm feeling so uptight 

I can't die I gotta wonder why 

I try and try and try but I can't die 

I've got the Dead Man Blues 

'Cause even if I win I lose 

I threw a rope around the rafters 

Around my neck, stood on a chair 

The phone rings, my machine picks up 

And guess who's there? 

It's a message from my doctor 

And he says: "Hey lucky break! 

It was just a dirt on the X-ray 

Whoops! I made a mistake!" 

And then I slipped off the chair 

And I was hanging there: 

I've got the Dead Man Blues 

'Cause even if I win I lose 

The Dead Man Blues