Once Upon A Time Lyrics - Romanovsky And Phillips

(We continue to grow and evolve as a community. The changes are 

often surprising... and confusing.) 

Once upon a time when life was simple and serene 

My roommate was a lesbian and I a happy queen 

I lived for Sunday brunches in my tightest fitting jeans 

While she read _The Well of Loneliness_ and _Plexus_ magazine 

But now I go to potlucks where the food is rather bleak 

And I've joined a new support group that meets every other weeks 

While she lives to go out dancing with her hair done up in curls 

It's getting hard to tell the boys from the girls 

Once upon a time when life was crystal clear 

Each of us had favorite music we preferred to hear 

While I went dancing to Sylvester down in Key West every year 

She went to music festivals to worship Holly Near (Imagine my 

surprise) 

But now our tastes in music have completely turned around 

And now instead of Michigan she goes to Provincetown 

While I play Alix Dobkin on my Walkman now and then (Gee, you're 

an Amazon) 

It's getting hard to tell the women from the men 

One upon a time when life was easy to predict 

Sex was something I could get and I could get it quick 

I'd look at all the men and know that I could take my pick 

While she frowned upon my lifestyle with each and every trick 

But now my sex adventures, though still fun, are rather tame 

While she's discovered JoAnn Loulan and she'll never be the same 

Cause she dates a lot of women and she buys erotic toys 

It's getting hard to tell the girls from the boys 

Times they change 

Fashions rearrange themselves 

If you don't stay on top 

You'll find yourself dropped on a shelf 

Once upon a time when life was black and white 

I used to do the drag shows to be famous for a night 

While she drank her beer without a glass and looked for Mrs. 

Right 

I'd cruise the local customers just asking for a light 

But now she is the only one who steps out in a dress 

And I'm wearing all her flannel shirts and sandals, I confess 

And now she smokes Virginia Slims instead of Lucky Strikes 

It's getting hard to tell the boys from girls 

Hard to tell the men from women 

Hard to tell the faggots from the dykes 

Now if all of this appears to show that everyone's gone mad 

It's only part and parcel of a somewhat larger fad 

Look no further than the glint of gold in many straight boys' 

ears 

It's getting hard to tell the breeders* from the queers 

(* The term "breeders" is fading from usage as gay and lesbian 

parents become more and more visible (see next song); however, it 

fit too well in this lyric not to use it. Cut me some slack, ok? 

-RR)