Play Your Cards Wrong Lyrics - Rodney Carrington

if you play your cards wrong 

you can take me home tonight 

you've got all the makings 

of my future ex-wife 

i've got 3 bucks 

my credit sucks 

and my future don't look to bright 

if you play your cards wrong 

you can take me home tonight 

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some call me a loser 

and a lazy no good slob 

i've lost my house 

i've got no car 

i cant keep a job 

but i've got a big heart 

and another part 

take me home, you'll understand 

because my genitalia looks like a pringles can 

if you play your cards wrong 

you can take me home tonight 

when i pull my pants down 

hey you won't believe i'm white 

it's been said that i'm Mr. Ed 

but don't worry, I won't bite 

if you play your cards wrong 

you can take me home tonight 

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some call me dishonest 

and they say i'm just lyin' 

but i peed next to ol' John Holmes and 

he started cryin' 

on a sunny day i've got it made 

get under my wiener if you need shade 

if you play your cards wrong 

you can take me home tonight