Cup Of Tea Lyrics - Right Said Fred

Right said Fred, both of us together, one each end and steady as we go 

Tried to to shift it, couldn't even lift it, we was getting nowhere 

And so, we, had a cup of tea 

Right said Fred, give a shout to Charlie, up comes Charlie from the floor below 

After straining, heaving and complaining, we was getting nowhere 

And so, we, had a cup of tea 

Charlie had a think and he thought we ought, to take off all the handles 

And the things that hold the candles - but it did no good (well I never thought it would!) 

Right said Fred, have to take the feet off, to get them feet off wouldn't take a mo... 

Took its feet off, even with the seat off, should have got us somewhere, but no! 

So Fred said let's have another cup of tea, and we said "right-oh!" 

Right said Fred, have to take the door off, need more space to shift the so-and-so 

Had bad twinges, taking off the hinges, and it got us nowhere 

And so, we, had a cup of tea 

Right said Fred, have to take the wall down, that there wall is gonna have to go 

Took the wall down, even with it all down, we was getting nowhere 

And so, we, had a cup of tea 

Charlie had a think and and he said look Fred, I've got a sort of feeling 

If we remove the ceiling, 

With a rope or two we can drop the blighter through... 

Right said Fred, climbing up a ladder, with his crowbar gave a mighty blow 

Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble, landed on the top of, his dome 

So Charlie and me had another cup of tea 

And then we, went home! 

[Spoken, fading out...] 

I said to Charlie we'll just have to leave it standing on the landing, that's all. 

You see the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty. 

Now you never get nowhere if you're too hasty...