The Pirates Who Don't Anything Lyrics - Relient K

We are the pirates who don't do anything, 

we just stay at home, and lie around. 

And if you ask us, to do anything, 

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything. 

Well I've never been to Greenland, 

and I've never been to Denver, 

and I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul. 

And I've never been to Moscow, 

and I've never been to Tampa, 

and I've never been to Boston in the fall. 

Cause we are the pirates who don't do anything, 

we just stay at home, and lie around, 

and if you ask us, to do anything 

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything. 

And I've never hoist the main sail, 

and I've never swabbed the poop deck, 

and I've never veered starboard, cause I've never sailed at all. 

And I've never walked the gang plank, 

and I've never owned a parrot... 

And I've never been to Boston in the fall 

Cause we are the pirates who don't do anything, 

we just stay at home, and lie around, 

and if you ask us, to do anything, 

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything. 

I've never plucked a rooster, 

and I am not too good at ping-pong, 

and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall. 

And I've never kissed a chipmunk, 

and I've never gotten head lice, 

and I have never been to Boston in the fall. 

(Pirate Captain's Log ..... 2002 

Who be this band Relient K, 

and why they be so full of contradictions?) 

We don't know what he did 

but we're down with captain kidd 

we don't wake up before lunch 

but we all eat captain crunch 

we don't smoke, we don't chew 

we watch captain kangaroo. 

And I've never licked a spark plug 

and I've never sniffed a stink bug 

and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball 

and I've never bathed in yogurt 

and I dont look good in leggings 

and I've never been to boston in the fall 

(Ladies and gentlemen, let's give 'em a big hand!) 

We are the pirates who don't do anything, 

we just stay at home, and lie around. 

And if you ask us, to do anything, 

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything. 

We are the pirates who don't do anything 

we just stay at home, and lie around 

and if you ask us, to do anything 

we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.