Hello Mama Lyrics - Ray Stevens

[Mama] 

Hello? 

[Osama] 

Hello Mama, This is Osama. 

I'm in a geisha house in Yokohama. 

I swear I don't know nothing 'bout no tennis shoe bomb. 

I'm a nervous wreak, W's breathin' down my neck. 

[Mama] 

Goodness me, mercy sakes. 

Listen son, what on Earth are you thinking? 

[Osama] 

I don't know 

[Mama] 

Tell me something, have you been drinking? 

[Osama] 

No! I aint been drinking. 

[Mama] 

This aint no way to behave you're gonna send me to my grave! 

[Osama] 

Hold it Mama! You know I can't talk long at all, 

W just might trace this call. Wait a minute. Uh Oh! 

[W] 

We will not tire. We will not fail. 

However long it takes you know we will prevail. 

[Mama] 

Mercy Sakes 

[Osama] 

Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo. 

So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or so. 

I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo. 

[Mama] 

Hello? 

[Usama] 

Hello Mama, This is "Usama" 

I'm in a mud hut in the middle of Uganda. 

Now here's the thing I changed my name to "Usama" 

Yeah, 'cause W's nipping at my heels. 

Now I know how Salman Rushdie feels. 

[Mama] 

Goodness me, mercy sakes. 

Listen son I'm not trying to upset you. 

[Usama] 

I know 

[Mama] 

But honey if they do catch you. 

[Usama] 

Oh for goodness sakes bite your tongue! 

[Mama] 

You know it's every mother's prayer, you have on clean underwear. 

[Usama] 

Hold it Mamma! W just wont leave me alone, I think he might of tapped this phone. 

Wait a minute. Uh Oh! 

[General] 

We will not tire, we will not fail. 

Do not pass GO just go directly to Jail. 

[Mama] 

Goodness me! 

[Osama] 

Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo. 

So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or so. 

I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo. 

{repeat and fade}