Erik The Awful Lyrics - Ray Stevens Box Set - Ray Stevens

Way back in history along the Nordic coast 

that was the sound all the people feared the most 

It would echo thru the night up and down the foggy fj-ord 

It was Erik and the bloodthirsty Horde! 

Chorus: Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious 

Erik the Awful, the Ruthless and Courageous 

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces 

You can run, but you cannot hide! 

YES! And as the oars of the sleek, fierce Viking ship cut thru the water like 

knives thru the fog-shrouded Nordic sea, transporting the wild, marauding 

band of Viking heathens stealthily towards their unsuspecting, slumbering 

victims, there he stood, on the foredeck, Erik the Awful, the wildest, 

bloodthirstiest Viking of them all! 

(his Momma named him Erik 'cause she couldn't spell AHHGGGRRRFFFFLLLLQQHH!) 

He had a hairy head, a hairy face, hairy chest, hairy legs, hairy boots and a 

hairy hat, shaped like a big bullet with horns comin' out the sides... and 

once he started after ya he'd NEVER stop! 

He'd turn to his oarsmen in his 37 oared fj-ord and he'd say: "MORDEN BORDEN 

FJORDEN GORDEN!" which was Viking for: 

"YA-HOO!, RAVAGE, PILLAGE, PLUNDER, 

MAIM AND PUT BIG HICKEYS ON ALL THEM FAIR DAMSELS!" 

Chorus: And it was Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious 

Erik the Awful, mercy sakes! and goodness gracious! 

His appetite for slaughter was simply voracious 

You gotta sleep with your sneakers by your side! 

YES! And when the villagers heard that awful battle-cry: 

* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! * 

That's the one! They would run for their lives, fleeing over hills and 

thru valleys to the river, whereupon they would walk mid-stream for 37 and 1/2 

miles, climbing out on the low-lying branch, shinnying down a young sapling 

onto rocky ground and leaping from stone to stone until they arrived one week 

later at a secret cave 97 miles away, and as they sat down for the first time 

to catch their breath, outside they heard: 

"YA-HOOOO! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!" 

Chorus: Yes, it was Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious 

Erik the Awful, turned up in the darndest places 

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces 

You can run, but you cannot hide! 

OH! And this time they cut south to Paris, bought tickets on the Orient 

Express to Istanbul, hired a U-Haul to the Coast, jumped a Greek freighter 

across the Mediterranian Sea to MON-golia, hooked up with a camel caravan into 

the heart of the Gobi Desert, and as they paused at an oasis, to lift one 

handful of cool water to their parched lips, over their shoulder they heard: 

"YA-HOOOO! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!" 

They fled to Calcutta! 

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! * 

They fled to the Himalayas! 

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! * 

Tokyo! 

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! * 

Toronto! 

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! * 

Toledo and Hahira, Georgia... 

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! * 

But it was no use! They finally succumbed to a savage plundering and 

pillaging followed by a big hickey party on the outskirts of what is now 

Washington, DC, where the decendants of Erik can still be found today, 

working as Special Agents for the IRS! 

Erik later amassed a small fortune posing for Molly Hatchet album covers, 

and did stuntwork for Arnold Schwartzenegger in Conan the Barbarian! He also 

won an Academy Award for his dual role as a train wreck and his tender 

portrayal of King Kong's daddy! Oh, you might remember the end of that one: 

there wasn't a dry eye in the house when he married the Empire State Building. 

And who could forget the evening he ate the entire Kingdom of the East? 

With no sugar? 

Chorus: Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious 

Erik the Awful, the Hungry and Voracious 

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces 

You can run but you cannot hide! 

* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! *