Bridget The Midget Lyrics - Singles - Ray Stevens

Well the wife went out of town 'bout a year or so back 

And left me at home by myself to batch 

And after five straight nights of TV I was ready to scream 

So I called up this beer drinkin' buddy of mine 

I said, "Bill, I ain't havin' a real good time" 

He said, "Why don't we go to the rasslin' matches 

And let off a little steam?" 

The main event was the Spider from parts unknown 

With his trusty partner, the Blue Cyclone 

They was takin' on a team that never had been beat 

Now I'd never seen the matches before 

And the crowd was backed up plumb out the door 

But me an' ol' Bill lucked out and got ringside seats 

Well then they rang the bell and all Hell broke loose 

My legs was shakin' like a rubber goose 

I'd never seen anything like this, not even in the war! 

The Cyclone put the Vulture in an airplane spin 

Then he body slammed him and he did it again 

I swear, I didn't see how that old boy could take much more 

It was right about then in the thick of things 

My buddy Bill threw a chair in the ring 

And that's when I knew we'd better be headin' for the door 

'Cause I saw the Cyclone lookin' at us 

And he was rubbin' his head and he started to cuss 

And I knew if he caught us he'd break Bill's neck for sure 

Well, where we parked wasn't too far 

And Bill ran so fast he beat me to the car 

Locked the doors and wasn't about to let anybody in 

And I turned around and the Cyclone was there 

And he said, "Hey punk, you forgot your chair!" 

And by the look in his eyes, I knew that this was the end 

Then he body slammed me two or three times 

And he put his arms around me from behind 

Then he pile drived me right there in the hard concrete 

Broke both my arms and three of my ribs 

It's the closest, I've ever come to being killed 

And that's the last thing, I remember 'fore he put me to sleep 

Blue Cyclone 

Blue Cyclone 

Well, I woke up in a hospital bed just thinkin' 

I believe I coulda took him if I hadn't been drinkin' 

So the next time we meet, I won't be on no binge 

'Cause I hadn't been the same since we had that fight 

And I see that Cyclone in my dreams at night 

And I'll never be satisfied 'til I get revenge 

So I called up Bill and told him my plan 

And all he said was, "Right on, man! 

I'd do the same darn thing if it'd been me 

It all happened so quick when that car door slammed 

It must a broke somethin', 'cause the door locks jammed 

You was already down, he's gone time I got free" 

Bill said, "Since you're thinkin' 'bout takin' him again 

I know two ol' boys that weigh 210 

They'd take on a grizzly with a switch in the woods at night" 

Well, we talked it over, they said they's willin' 

They'd stop at nothing, short of a killin' 

Said, "Hoss, we'll back you as long as you wanna fight" 

So we all went down to the Hammerlock Bar 

The hangout of all the rasslin' stars 

And waited for the Blue Cyclone to hit the door 

Well, after a while, he finally appeared 

And sat down at the bar and ordered a beer 

And he barely took a sip 'fore I stepped to the middle of the floor 

I yelled, "Hey Cyclone! Remember me? 

I'm the guy you put to sleep 

Only this time, you can see I'm not alone, ha ha 

You see them two big dudes over there?" 

The Cyclone looked and said, "Over where?" 

And I turned around, I'm a son of a gun, they was gone! 

Well, the Cyclone looked at me and grinned 

He said, "Okay punk, here we go again 

Seems to me that some guys never learn" 

And then he waded through them tables and chairs 

Put a full-nelson on me and grabbed my hair 

And when he threw me to the floor, I was startin' to get concerned 

The next thing I remember, they was carryin' me in 

And the doctor said, "Oh no, you again?" 

I said, "Doctor, how long you think it'll be this time?" 

He said, "Boy, if you don't leave the Cyclone alone 

One of these days, you ain't goin' home! 

You'll need the undertaker's services, not mine" 

Blue Cyclone 

He's the meanest wrestler the ring has ever known 

He'll make you groan, he'll make you moan 

He'll lay you prone and break your bones 

Blue Cyclone 

The Blue Cyclone