The Donner Party Lyrics - Thanks For The Ether - Rasputina

The similarities in situation between the Donner Party and the colonial Pilgrims is both appalling, frightening, and incomplete. 

In both cases, you'll find one: a fairly large group of ill-prepared greenhorns, pitting themselves against nature and each other, two: an insufficient willingness to endure the very real hardships of frontiering, and three: coincidental misfortune at every turn. Number three: coincidental misfortune at EVERY TURN. 

The disasters of both camps were initially brought about by departure delay-inducing inertia, which caused our heroes to begin their journeys at absolutely retarded times weather-wise. 

If fantasy is the refuge of the frightened man, and a castle in the air is safe harbor for a foolish few, just imagine: 

Living in a hut buried twelve feet below the snow, where the sight and smell of the scattered carcasses of loved ones at your feet, is...the lay of the land. Just another day. 

I would like to propose that cannibalism was indeed rampant among America's earliest settlers: the Pilgrims. 

Voice: HUH? 

The Pilgrims. For what does "settler" imply, if not the willingness to settle? The willingness to settle for a meal of human flesh if my thoughts on the subject are to believed. 

In conclusion, spread the word of this: Look to the night sky and hark back to your forefathers' shortcomings, [chuckle] and your own, as you cut your meat and lay the groundwork for a New Tomorrow.