A Few Words In Defense Of My Country Lyrics - Randy Newman

I'd like to say a few words 

In defense of our country 

Whose people aren't bad nor are they mean 

Now the leaders we have 

While they're the worst that we've had 

Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen 

Let's turn history's pages, shall we? 

Take the Caesars for example 

Why within the first few of them 

They were sleeping with their sister 

Stashing little boys in swimming pools 

And burning down the City 

And one of 'em, one of 'em 

Appointed his own horse Consul of the Empire 

That's like vice president or something 

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That's not a very good example, is it? 

But wait, here's one, the Spanish Inquisition 

They put people in a terrible position 

I don't even like to think about it 

Well, sometimes I like to think about it 

Just a few words in defense of our country 

Whose time at the top 

Could be coming to an end 

Now we don't want their love 

And respect at this point is pretty much out of the question 

But in times like these 

We sure could use a friend 

Hitler. Stalin. 

Men who need no introduction 

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King Leopold of Belgium. That's right. 

Everyone thinks he's so great 

Well he owned The Congo 

He tore it up too 

He took the diamonds, he took the gold 

He took the silver 

Know what he left them with? 

Malaria 

A President once said, 

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" 

Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid 

It's patriotic in fact and color coded 

And what are we supposed to be afraid of? 

Why, of being afraid 

That's what terror means, doesn't it? 

That's what it used to mean 

You know it pisses me off a little 

That this Supreme Court is gonna outlive me 

A couple of young Italian fellas and a brother on the Court now too 

But I defy you, anywhere in the world 

To find me two Italians as tight-ass as the two Italians we got 

And as for the brother 

Well, Pluto's not a planet anymore either 

The end of an empire is messy at best 

And this empire is ending 

Like all the rest 

Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea 

We're adrift in the land of the brave 

And the home of the free 

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.