The World According To Chris Lyrics - Premiere Cast

Chris: 

Guess what, ever since the world began 

Same plot, everyone's been dumping on their fellow man 

Pounding people they feel better than 

I hope you're taking notes cause 

You feel everyone deserves a shot 

Get real 

Some of us have got it, girl 

And some got squat 

That's the truth, oh honey, like it or not 

I hate to break it to you 

My daddy taught me you get no where being nice 

So now I'm sharing his advice 

The world according to Chris is 

Better to strike then get struck 

Better to screw then get screwed 

You'd probably think its bizarre 

But that's the way things are 

Sue: (spoken) But that doesn't mean it has to be that way 

What does it cost to be kind 

Chris: (spoken) Ew, what have you done with my best friend? Billy, tell me, am I right, or am I right? 

Billy: (sung) 

Trust me 

I swear 

There's a dick in every class 

Not fair 

Each and every time I fail those losers pass 

Hey, everyone of them can kiss my ass 

Chris: 

You wonder why I love him 

Billy: 

One year, there was this good looking guy 

So queer 

And on top of that he has a wandering eye 

One day he looks at me 

And, huh, bye-bye 

Chris: 

I bet he got the message 

Chris and Billy: 

We're here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works 

All: 

Oh, yeah yeah yeah 

Chris and Billy: 

If you don't listen, then you're jerks! 

All: 

The world according to Chris is 

Better to punch than get punched 

Better to burn than get burned 

Learn that and you're gonna go far 

Cause that's the way things are 

Chris: 

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na 

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na 

All: 

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na 

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na 

Sue: (spoken) Do you believe her? 

Tommy: (spoken) C'mon, she's just being Chris. 

Sue: (spoken) You weren't there. It was awful. We were hurting Carrie. 

Tommy: (spoken) Oh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad. 

Sue: (sung) 

Tommy, you don't understand 

What was just a joke got out of hand 

We kept on screaming til she hit the floor 

Tommy: (spoken) C'mon, everybody was doing it. 

Sue: (sung) 

Hey, I was in there, too 

What came over me was something new 

I did things I'd never done before 

And now I wish there's something I could do or say 

I've never ever felt this way 

Tommy: (sung) 

Look, Sue 

Don't be so hard on yourself 

You can tell me to keep my mouth shut 

But, wanna know what I'd advise? 

Sue: What? 

Tommy: 

Apologize 

Sue: (spoken) Apologize. Oh, Tommy! That's genius! 

Chris: (Sung) 

Ew, Sue 

I know you've been feeling sad 

All: 

Boo Hoo! 

Sure, we clobbered Carrie and that's too damn bad 

Chris: 

This is why you've gotta love my dad 

All: 

He's got the right idea 

Chris: 

My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below 

(All: who's below) 

And now its time I let you know 

The world according to Chris... 

Sue: (spoken) You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all this? 

Chris: (spoken) Why are you being such a buzz-kill? 

Sue: Chris, grow up. 

All: 

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na 

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na (and so on) 

Billy: 

Let''s start this party, people! 

The World According to Chris (x4) 

Chris: (softly) 

The world according to Chris is 

Better to whip than get whipped 

Even if somebody bleeds 

Please 

Nobody dies from a scar 

And that's the way things 

Are