Champaign, Illinois Lyrics - The Grand Theatre Volume One - Old 97's

The bottom line's been snorted 

The bottom card's been dealt 

No one knows like you know right now 

How truly bad it felt 

All your life you wasted 

On dreamin' about the day, 

Worker bees kill off their queen 

and carry all her eggs away 

Oh and if you die fearin' God 

And painfully employed 

You will not go to heaven, 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois 

Up north in Chicago 

Where booze makes no one blush 

Memories come back to you 

In a double bourbon rush 

But memories aren't all bad 

Yeah and neither, my friend, are you 

there is an argument there must be some heaven left 

for hearts that are half true 

Oh and if you spend your whole life 

Driving horses into Troy 

You will not go to heaven 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois 

No you will not go to heaven 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois 

Roll on blacktop highway 

In circles towards the sun 

Springfield's in the distance, 

and that's the last big one 

After that comes judgment, 

Yeah and judgment will be swift 

You will be eliminated, 

But here's a parting gift: 

Oh and if you die fearing God 

And painfully employed 

No you will not go to heaven 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois 

No you will not go to heaven 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois 

No you will not go to heaven 

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois