Earth Lyrics - Mount Eerie

I don't want to live with this feeling any longer than I have to 

But also I don't want you to be gone 

So I talk about you all the time 

Including the last day you were alive 

And I hang your pictures around my house 

For me to surprise myself with and cry 

Everybody that used to know us seems concerned 

But if they knew that when you went through my mind 

I'm full of your love that illuminated our house for all those years 

And made this dancing child who tears through the days 

With a brilliance you would have deepened and sang along with 

But you're sleeping out in the yard now 

What am I saying? 

No one is sleeping 

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You don't even have a dead body anymore, it was taken away 

I went and wrote a check 

And got a cardboard box full of your ashes 

And a little plastic bag with your necklace 

And I drove back home truly alone 

I guess I didn't bury you deep enough 

When I poured out your ashes beneath the three witch hazels 

That you planted in the yard a few years ago in a triangle for us 

Where me and the kid were rolling in the grass the other day 

And I saw actual chunks of your bones 

Bleached and weathered, unerasable 

You're still out there in the spring upheaving 

Coming out of the ground into air 

Is that exact fragment your finger 

That once caressed me not that long ago? 

I still can feel it 

And is that other shard a piece of your skull 

That once contained the wild brain that used to overflow with loving? 

Photos 

Undiscovered and gone 

And now just shrapnel remains: 

Earth 

Another place I poured your ashes out 

Was on a chair on top of a mountain pointed at the sunset 

I went back there last week after years passed 

And noticed the chunks of your bones that haven't been blown away 

Are indistinguishable from other pieces from animal bones 

Brought there by coyotes, vultures, and gods 

Against my will I felt a little bit of solace creeping in 

But I laid there on the moss 

Compost and memory: 

There's nothing else 

I can hear Wolves in the Throne Room singing: 

"I will lay down my bones among the rocks and roots" 

At night I sit and picture myself curled up beneath 

Ten feet of water at the bottom of the lake 

I imagined trout bumping against me in the low diminished light 

Holding my breath trying to be a boulder 

Eroding, to join you in re-mingling with a background 

Of churned muck coalescing in the dark 

But to get ground back down to matter only 

Eternal and dumb becoming not a thing 

Abdicating form