Penis Song (the Not Noel Coward Song) Lyrics - Monty Python

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis 

Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong 

It's swell to have a stiffy 

It's divine to own a dick 

From the tiniest little tadger 

To the world's biggest prick 

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas 

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake 

Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend 

Your Percy, or your cock 

You can wrap it up in ribbons 

You can slip it in your sock 

But don't take it out in public 

Or they will stick you in the dock 

And you won't come about