Medical Love Song [alternate Demo Version] Lyrics - Monty Python

Inflammation of the foreskin 

Reminds me of your smile 

I've had ballanital chancroids 

For quite a little while 

I gave my heart to NSU 

That lovely night in June 

I ache for you my darling 

And I hope you get well soon. 

My penile warts, your herpes 

My syphilitic sores 

Your moenelial infection 

How I miss you more and more 

You dobie's itch, my scrumpox 

Our lovely gonorrhea 

At least we both were lying 

When we said that we were clear 

Our syphilitic kisses 

Sealed the secret of our tryst 

You gave me scrotal pustules 

With a quick flickof your wrist 

Your trichovaginitis 

Sent shivers down my spine 

I got snail tracks in my anus 

When your spirochetes met mine. 

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis, 

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis, 

Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis, 

Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis. 

My clapped out genetalia 

Is not so bad for me 

As the complete and utter failure 

Every time I try to pee. 

My doctor says my buboes 

Are the worst he's ever seen 

My scrotum's painted orange 

And my balls are turning green. 

My heart is very tender 

Though my parts are awful raw 

You might have been infected 

But you never were a bore 

I'm dying of your love my love 

I'm your spirochaetal clown 

I've left my body to science 

But I'm afraid they've turned it down. 

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis, 

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis, 

Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis, 

Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-I-tis.