The Cheque's In The Post Lyrics - Momus

Me and my lawyer sat down and worked out 

The full cost of the wrongs I have done you 

And I'm sending the money to you 

For giving you hell 

When I should have been treating you well 

Reparation: 500 £5 notes in a roll 

For remarks about your weight 

For complaining when you were late 

Compensation: £2000, the going rate 

For the times we were out 

And my eye kept roving about 

Settling on younger women 

Fifteen hundred, say it's forgiven 

Running total: £6 350 

With tax added on 

And that's Just the end of one 

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For attacking your superstition 

Your pantheistic new age religion 

Say the sum of £1797 

When I said your new dress wasn't splendid 

When I told you the way the film ended 

I know I was wrong: accept this token 

And for passing the pictures I'd taken 

Of your body totally naked 

Around our friends 

Let's call it a round £9 000 

Running total: £24 063 

On its way to you 

And this is just the end of two 

Me and my lawyer sat down and worked out 

The real cost of the wrongs I have done you 

And I'm sending the money to you 

Photos 

And for my next indiscretion 

When we had sex on the floor of the kitchen 

I sang it in a song -- accept 10 000 -- make that 11 000 pounds 

And for failing to give enough time 

To the baby that could have been mine 

It's not that I don't care 

My love it's just so hard to find a figure 

Worst of all I stopped loving your body 

Making you feel so low 

Though my lawyer says no blame can be apportioned 

For circumstances beyond my control 

So now I'm all paid up 

And absolved from this guilt 

I'm going to get another girl in 

Under my quilt 

And run up 

Another massive debt 

Hail Mary, pray for me now 

Now and at the hour of my death