Nicky Lyrics - Momus

Suppose one day in Bromley, Kent 

I live my nightmare and am sent 

To sing for blonde suburban women 

Before the wives of double-glazers 

I'd be Julio Inglesias 

Doing the greats in Argentinian 

Suppose they Barry Manilow me 

Screaming "Show me you're a man" 

With legs as mottled as salami 

Ladies, I'm doing the best I can 

This is how Casanova's bum 

becomes a lesson in virility 

Set to a bossanova drum 

Sung to tarts decked out like Christmas trees 

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Then in my dressing room I'd see 

This elephant as pink as me 

Drinking and singing gloomily 

About the time they called me, yeah the time the called me, 

About the time they called me "Nicky" 

If I could be him! For only an hour 

If I could be him! Before his grand finale 

If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, absolutely banal! 

Suppose one evening in Mauritius 

Entertaining high officials 

High on whores and marijuana 

Begging letters from celebrities 

Begging "Couldn't you write songs for me?" 

I'd blackmail David Bowie and the Dalai Lama 

Photos 

And I'd be an industrialist of song 

And I could sell with a wink 

The best in showbiz and in drink 

Korean floorshows, whiskey from the Congo? (whiskey from the Congo) 

Me, I'd have a ring on every finger 

And a thumb in every stake 

And every stake would be the singer's 

And acknowledged, I would legislate 

The in my Hong Kong orchid den 

Waiting for 1999 

I'd spend the years of my decline 

Do you remember the time they called me, yeah the time they called me, 

Oh the time they called me "Nicky" 

If I could be him! For only an hour 

If I could be him! Before his grand finale 

If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, absolutely banal! 

Suppose one day in paradise 

I find myself to my surprise 

Singing for ladies flapping swans wings 

And plucking on my little harp 

I'd be a beacon in the dark 

And save the souls of human beings 

Then Jesus Christ has hardly christened me 

Son-of-the-one-in-the-directory 

Between Vic and Jean-Luc Goddard 

And I grow my beard and walk on water 

And if I really came on strong 

And started prancing and Cliff Richard-ing 

I know it wouldn't be too long 

Before I heard the shadows whispering 

How Satan's come in from the cold 

He's now the shepherd in his fold 

They're shouting out requests for oldies 

From the time they called me, yeah the time they called me, 

Yeah the time they called me "Nicky" 

If I could be him! For only an hour 

If I could be him! Before his grand finale 

If I could be me, if I could only be cute, cute, cute, good, absolutely banal! 

He could fall asleep at night 

He could fall in love all right 

He could fall asleep at night 

He could fall asleep at night 

He could fall in love all right 

He could fall asleep at night 

He could fall asleep at night 

He could fall in love all right