E R N I E Lyrics - Absolutely - Madness

I am the bringer of your wishes 

Your savior from doing work 

The washer of your dishes 

And you'll still get your midday perk 

Estate agent your mansion 

And pot of gold 

All the home comforts 

Before you're getting tired and old 

One more try 

Try to get what you've never had 

Five more bob 

For the whole world that can't be bad 

We can't all win 

Look it's happening 

The future's looking not so bleak 

A thousand winners every week [x2] 

So when you hear me coming 

Along halls and up the stairs (E.R.N.I.E.) 

In the back of teapots 

In the cupboard, under chairs (E.R.N.I.E.) 

Forget all your wives tales 

Of forecasts and dividends (E.R.N.I.E.) 

When E.R.N.I.E. feels vibrations 

Only pays out to trusted friends 

One more try 

Try to get what you've never had 

Five more bob 

For the whole world that can't be bad 

We can't all win 

Look it's happening 

The future's looking not so bleak 

A thousand winners every week [x2] 

Congratulations you've just won 

A five thousand pound premium bond 

Keep your hand on the bottle 

And your eyes glued upon the set (E.R.N.I.E.) 

When the score cards come up 

Could be you for the big one next (E.R.N.I.E.) 

Publicity, no thank you 

On the front page of the Currant Bun (E.R.N.I.E.) 

They think you stink 

But in the pub you'll be number one 

One more try 

Try to get what you've never had 

Five more bob 

For the whole world that can't be bad 

We can't all win 

Look it's happening 

The future's looking not so bleak 

A thousand winners every week [x4]