Decieves The Eye Lyrics - Madness

In the earliest days of my shoplifting career, 

You could safely say I was filled with fear. 

It was nail biting work from the very start, 

But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart. 

After a while I could pick or nick or steal, 

Some shirts some trousers and a few lps. 

No-one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care. 

It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there. 

Then a fine summers day my mates and me, 

Set off down the westend on our usual spree. 

Things were as normal for an hour or so, 

Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow. 

Two store detectives made a fast approach, 

One grabbed my jacket (you're nicked!) 

The other grabbed my throat. 

So they caught me at last, one said with joy: 

"you'll have to do some time, my light fingered boy!" 

If only I'd remembered my common sense, 

They captured me red-handed with evidence. 

If I go to the manager and say I'm sorry, 

Maybe he'll forgive me for my youthful folly. 

But what will me social worker say, 

If I don't come home today? 

He'll give me a clout! 

What if they don't let me out? 

I told him I'm on me own! 

Don't they understand? 

I'm from a broken home!