Penis Song Lyrics - The Language Of My World - Macklemore

Ladies and gentlemen 

introducing, the penis song. 

(oh no he didn't) 

(Honk a dick) 

This is my penis song 

I wish that I had a bigger shlong 

One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long 

One of those porno king kong dongs 

Check it out 

I wish my dick was bigger, I can admit it 

I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit 

If I had a big ol' cock what would I do? 

I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw 

Get buck naked and start streaking at my school 

And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed 

With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and 

Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man 

With no clothes on just to show off 

My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft 

Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the cock that I have 

I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package 

And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets 

Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter," 

Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean 

I know that god made us all different and special 

But shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles? 

I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like 

Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your 

balls 

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I mean I don't know, I just feel bad 

This is my penis song 

I wish that I had a bigger shlong 

One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long 

Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along 

Yo ladies 

Yeah? 

Ladies! 

Yeah? 

Do you want a guy with an average dick? 

Hell no 

Then- wait you don't? 

No you honkey dick 

Photos 

Okay that's cool, no that's fine 

I promise, I'm so self conscious 

That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August 

Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy 

Alfonso 

I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand 

I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man 

And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like 

a little kid 

I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy 

Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me 

And every MC in hip hop has got a huge cock 

Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got 

I mean, shit 

If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick 

With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with 

And talk about my package and multiple orgasms 

'Cause all that I see is that size does matter 

We got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to Viagra 

But when it all adds up you can't really change it 

I'm not a porno star I just gotta face it 

You know, what can I do 

This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes 

So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop 

This is my penis song 

I wish that I had a bigger shlong 

One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long 

Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along