Lucy Lastic Lyrics - Macc Lads

Well, in this life there's a couple of certs, 

One is death and the other's a nurse, 

Well Lucy's old and they say she's passed it, 

But I gave her one and her tits were that big, 

And they said bollocks and they're made of plastic, 

And that I never touched her, 

That's just bagshit. 

Lucy Lastic, we shagged everywhere, 

On the washer in the kitchen and twice on the stairs, 

Did you fuck? You're making it up. 

Well I got a red pint round the back of our house, 

Are you sure you want to play with my little red mouse? 

I found his tail right up Lucy Lastic, 

The Russians are coming, this is drastic. 

So I closed the curtains and I sat on her belly, 

There was dogfood in her clevage, forgot about torn welly. 

Lucy Lastic's got a great back, 

Two pounds of tripe just to take up the slack. 

Was there fuck, you're making it up. 

Lucy Lastic we shagged in a skip. 

Dead cats in her knickers, tea bags on her tits. 

We did it in a snowdrift in Wilderclough, 

But Lucy Lastic was loose enough, 

Lucy Lastic were loose enough, 

Lucy Lastic were loose enough, 

Lucy Lastic were loose enough.