My Meds [explicit] Lyrics - Older Than My Old Man Now - Loudon Wainwright Iii

My Meds 

Lipitor tore up my tendon, that was no damn good 

So now Im taking Crestor, cause the doctor said I should 

I cut back on the Avodart, its every other night 

Lorazepam is for the occasions when Im wound too tight. 

Sure Lexapro has cheered me up so much that I dont cry 

Or get it up so I might give some Wellbutrin a try. 

Girl. I swore off Cialis, Im no longer in the mood 

Four hours at attention, man that could kill a dude. 

They say Ambiens OK, long as you dont drive in your sleep 

If you operate machinery pray the Lord your soul to keep. 

Be aware that Vesicare can cut down on the trips 

You make to tinkle in the night, plus subsequential drips. 

Ear drops, eye drops, nose drops cause dried ups the shape Im in 

Its like I need an oil can Im like that man of tin 

Ice packs and heat packs for my aching knees and back 

And that little baby aspirin to ward off my heart attack 

I went down to Chinatown, the herbalist was there 

I got some tea that tasted like a truckers underwear 

Those acupuncture needles, naw, they dont hurt a bit 

In point of fact those acupuncture needles dont do shit 

I could buy a Thai massage to get a few good hugs 

Instead I head to the drugstore to cop my load of drugs 

When I was a little kid I never popped no pills 

Just a bandaid and mercurochrome could cure most of my ills 

Klonopins a controlled substance so I bum em from my wife 

If the side effects dont kill me all my meds might save my life 

I quit drinkin smokin red meat dairy and caffeine 

Im not quite high on life just slightly dead know what I mean 

I even asked the doctor Doc how long can this go on? 

He said Son youre out to pasture, your next stop is Forest Lawn 

Youll need something stronger than your Advil and /aleve 

If you want to eat and sleep and piss and crap and shtup and breathe 

If you want to eat and sleep and piss and crap and shtup and breathe!