Candy Bar Blues Lyrics - Lex Zaleta

I heard some large SNICKERS from BABY RUTH, 

As the THREE MUSKETEERS barged through the front door. 

I could see they were fixing to even up the SKOR. 

They were shouting, This ain't no candy bar no more. 

The jukebox played a sweet SYMPHONY, Ramblin' Man, always an Allman Joy, 

When the crystal chandelier, like a shooting STAR, BURST to the floor, 

And spelled out a message too big to ignore: 

This ain't no candy bar no more. 

Eminem's boys tried to protect him, but they threw that rapper to the floor. 

MIKE AND IKE spilled the cow juice he had poured, 

Saying, You can follow the MILKY WAY to the door 

This ain't no candy bar no more. 

A romantic interlude: 

You should have seen TOOTSIE ROLL with the punches, as she 

Turned these TWIZZLERS into boxed lunches dropped them like in a BUTTERFINGER drama. 

She's the very last RED HOT mama. 

Yet she stays GOOD AND PLENTY humble even when she makes VIOLET CRUMBLE. 

What do I know about her? She kisses like PEPPERMINT PATTY, 

And I'm proud to be her SUGAR DADDY. 

It'll be a ROCKY ROAD from her NECCO the woods to FIFTH AVENUE 

She'll take it one bite at a time, this big city, BIG LEAGUE CHEW. 

Back to the brawl: 

The FAST BREAK fight reached a crescendo 

The Musketeers left behind a few meMENTOS. 

Just a BIT-O-HONEY out of season, 

A momentary lapse of RIESEN, 

A fine line TWIX truth and treason. 

WERTHER'S smoke, there's fire and S'MORE 

This ain't no candy bar no more. 

Judgment Day: 

Over MOUNDS of paperwork, the judge took a stand. 

He said, I'm going to fine you all 100 GRAND, 

And put a WHATCHAMACALLIT a padlock on the door 

This ain't no candy bar no more 

This ain't no KIT KAT Club, no MARS bar, no CLARK bar, no LOOK bar 

This ain't no candy bar no more. 

What kind of message am I sending? 

It's another OH HENRY surprise ending.