Commercial Lyrics - King Missile - King Missile

Lately, I've seen red, I've tasted blood 

I've killed with words, I've wished and hoped 

And swam through a river of snot 

Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi 

But I wanna know about the commercial I saw on TV 

An Irish guy walking through a field of green 

Whistling one of those Irish jigs 

And a woman walks up and says 

"Manly yes, but I like it too" 

Then the guy pulls out a huge knife 

And cuts off his first two fingers 

And somehow catches them 

In what's left of his left hand 

And hands them to the woman 

Did I mention they're both dressed in green? 

They, they both sing this song together 

"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? 

Are ya hot as anything? 

Hey, cut off two of your fingers 

And stab yourself in the eye" 

Then he stabs himself in the eye 

And hands her the knife 

And she stabs herself in the eye, okay? Okay? 

So what about that? 

Then they join arms and do this Irish folk dance 

While taking turns dismembering each other 

This was a commercial for deodorant, I think 

Or soap or something 

So now all the body parts are lying in a heap 

But the heads are still singing 

"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? 

Are ya hot as anything? 

Hey, get away from summer 

And cut off all your limbs" 

Then all of the body parts 

Start hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats 

Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads 

But then they just slip right back out 

Through the severed necks and keep bopping about 

It's very beautiful music that's playing 

There's an Irish flute and a mandolin, I think 

And the background singers sound 

Just like the Clancy brothers 

It's really a wonderful commercial 

Spectacular, it must of cost a fortune to make 

The kind of commercial you'd see 

During the Super Bowl, maybe 

Where the advertising time costs 

A million dollars a half a minute 

Wow, imagine that 

A million dollars for a half a minute 

Anyway, by the end of it 

It looks like the two of them have been through a juicer 

Or a food processor or a blender or something 

It's just a pink puree of blood 

Bone and flesh in a big bucket 

But it's still singing somehow 

"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? 

Are ya hot as anything? 

Hey, blend yourself, process yourself 

Become a glass of animal juice" 

"Haven't you had enough 

Of fruit juices and vegetable juices? 

Next time company comes over 

Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself" 

"Give of yourself 

Stop being such a selfish piece of snot 

Okay? Okay? Okay 

And now, back to our program"