Claws In Your Back Lyrics - Julien Baker

Collecting the circles that tell us 

How old we are beneath our eyelids 

Wearing a purple badge to prove what I did 

Pump the vitals out of my wrist 

'Cause I'm conducting an experiment on how it feels to die 

Or stay alive 

So try to stay calm, 'cause nobody knows 

The violent partner you carry around 

With claws in your back, ripping your clothes 

And listing your failures out loud 

It's more than the skeleton next to my coat 

The black that I held in the back of my throat 

Follows you straight into the dark 

The easy way out and the hardest part 

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When it won't leave me alone 

I'm better off learning how to be 

Living with demons I've mistaken for saints 

If you keep it between us I think they're the same 

I think I can love the sickness you made 

'Cause I take it all back, I change my mind 

I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay