Betty And Me Lyrics - Singles - Jonathan Coulton

I guess I was skeptical when I first met Dr. Martin 

He said we could build a baby out of DNA 

And although it was expensive it was legal in the states where it wasn't banned 

It was Betty who suggested we cut out the parts of me that she can't stand 

So we made an appointment and Betty went alone 

They worked out the details and then called me on the phone 

To say congratulations Dad 

Now things are getting better for Betty and me 

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better 

And Betty says he'll be taller 

And Betty says he'll be smarter 

And Betty says that our baby will be better than me 

Betty was pretty firm about our baby being human 

I said we should give him wings and nice prehensile tail 

He could travel with the circus making money, making friends with clowns 

Betty said that's stupid and for God's sake would you turn that TV down? 

Now I've seen Betty happy, but she's never been like this 

She glows like someone's girlfriend in the middle of a kiss 

And I'm excited too 

Cause things are getting better for Betty and me 

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better 

And Betty says he'll be taller 

And Betty says he'll be smarter 

And Betty says that our baby will be better than me 

And the love inside me thunders like a storm 

And I hope the tube they keep him in is comfortable and warm 

I hope the nutritive solution that they're feeding him doesn't make him fat 

Betty's been spending lots of time out late with Dr. Martin 

She says that they're working on the baby every night 

And Dr. Martin brings her presents like new underwear and a bottle of wine 

I'll just keep on writing checks until the day that baby is mine 

He might have my moustache or my freckles or my eyes 

Betty says it's better if we keep it a surprise 

I hope I find out soon 

Cause things are getting better for Betty and me 

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better 

And Betty says he'll be taller 

And Betty says he'll be smarter 

And Betty says that our baby will be better than 

Baby will be better than 

Baby will be better than me