After Ever After 3 Lyrics - Jon Cozart

If you've ever wondered why 

Disney tales all end in lies 

Here's what happened 

after all their dreams came true... 

[Simba] 

Was gonna be a mighty king 

Mufasa's famous heir 

[Zazu:] Well your little mane's been lion tamed 

[Zazu:] By beasts who don't fight fair 

I've turned into the main event 

For soldiers big and small 

And now I dread my severed head 

Might end up on your wall— (meow!) 

[Hunter:] Let me help this African economy 

Oh my species is going extinct 

Everywhere you look, death 

Taking shots at my pride 

Thanks for that petition 

To stop a straight up genocide 

[Hunter:] Scope set. 

Rafiki's brains are not a cure for AIDS 

Now ebonies need ivory for pay 

I don't think Hamlet ended up this way 

Oh my species is going extinct 

Oh my species is go- (uagh!) 

Related 

Naughty & Nice Christmas Songs 

5 Totally Underrated Christmas Songs 

9 Misheard Christmas Carol Lyrics 

[Peter Pan] 

Every time I fly to town 

I grow up when I come down 

Now I've been stuck at age sixteen 

For eighty years of puberty 

In unforgiving tights 

He's upright, he's upright, he's upright 

[Tiger Lily:] We're following his leader, 

His leader, His leader, 

We're following his leader 

Wherever he may bone 

Tee dum (tee dum), Tee dee (tee dee) 

My teedle-dee's out to play 

It's one for all 

[Mermaid:] The mermaids are wet for days 

[Tiger Lily:] This engine's revved 

[Pirate:] There's only one booty for me 

Just a teedle ee rump 

A teedle ee hump tee day 

Think of the fappiest thoughts 

[Wendy:] I'm a happy little thot 

Wendy is my special gal 

[Mermaid:] She's like 90— 

[Wendy:] I'm down 

[Wendy:] The dentures never bite (dentures never bite, dentures never bite) 

He's upright, he's upright, 

He's upright 

[Pirate:] Hope he's bi 

He's upright 

Photos 

[Hercules] 

Save my soul 

Herc was on a roll 

Now every god and goddess here is begging to atone 

Replaced by intelligent design 

The new guy's rolling by and turning water into wine 

The Roman's are chanting 

Christo, Christo 

He's a godsend 

Bigger than Nero 

Out with the old in with the Jew 

Hero to Christo 

God's honest truth 

Hero to Christo 

[Jesus:] Hey Herc, you're screwed 

The Jesus freak is super weak 

[Jesus:] I'm so devine 

[Jesus:] You see I came inside a virgin's bod 

*Pfft*, So have I! 

I threw him in the Colosseum 

A lion a la carte 

Three days went by he zombified 

And rose up in search of hearts 

[Aladdin] 

I'm a prisoner of war 

ISIS blew up my city 

They're throwing me off a building 

Cause they think that I like guys 

A holy war 

An old fantastical point of view 

Carpet was burned alive 

Streamed nation wide 

I can't go back to where I used to thieve 

Every turn suicide 

A hundred thousand children plead 

The toppling of Agrabah 

With Sharia Law 

Stop this holy war before we're through ( [Jasmine:] A holy war) 

Unholy war 

[Jasmine:] That's where we'll be 

Just refugees 

[Jasmine:] Send helping hands 

Instead of bans 

For you and me 

[Simba:] The lions are gone, 

[Peter Pan:] Hair on my junk, 

[Hercules:] Jesus is a hunk— 

[Aladdin:] Screw Trump!