After Ever After 2 Lyrics - Singles - Jon Cozart

If you've ever wondered why 

Disney tales all end in lies 

Here's what happened after all their dreams came true 

Mulan 

After saving China I went home alone 

I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone 

I've been dressing like a guy for months 

Now I'm losing all control 

I think I am a guy in my soul 

I wanna be a man 

Soldier 1: I've never seen a guy so hot 

Mulan: Time to reinvent the new me 

Soldier 2: Every time he speaks it makes me want to sing (I'm so confused) 

Soldier 1: Be quiet, or we'll get caught 

Soldier 3: Maybe one day he'll screw me 

M: Now I really get why my nickname is Ping 

I've gotta be a man 

I've got the brains and the bite of females 

Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes 

I know I'm ready for transformation 

It's time to replace all these useless tubes 

(Good for you) 

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Cinderella 

The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made 

Guess my wish came true 

But we never really talked much 

Before he discovered my shoe 

The night after we got married 

I recounted all of my plights 

Of how I fit inside a pumpkin 

My canines turned to coachmen 

Prince threw me in Bedlam that night 

The white jackets say I'm nutty (she's nutty as a bat) 

Cause my clothes are sewn by rats (put some meds in her food) 

But their pills turn my brain to putty (blarg) 

Now Lucifer's not just my cat (I AM SATAN) 

Their insulin puts me under 

Shock therapy's made me insane 

And after years of steady frying 

Photos 

The doctors gave up trying 

They stuck 2 steel rods in my brain 

Tiana 

I spent a bloomin lifetime 

To open my cafe 

Then I took a dive in 2005 

Now it's washed away (it's all washed away) 

I was picked up by a chopper 

After four nights on my roof 

Now my new home is the Astrodome 

Cause New Orleans ain't Katrina proof 

Ya better carry 'round a shotgun 

Or looters take your kids 

Ya better pee inside of jam jars 

Be sure to keep those lids (ew) 

We needed Noah but we got Bush 

Our "savior" flew away and hid 

Rough seas and levees 

Rough seas and levees 

Rough seas and levees, I'm dead 

Elsa 

There is no snow on the mountain tonight 

Just sulfur in the air 

A kingdom of greenhouse gases 

Only Bill Nye seems to care 

My town is melting, breaking off into the sea 

It's time I show the strength of an evil queen 

With Germany and Putin, too 

I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo 

We're going green by spilling red 

And if you're not dead 

I built a hoard of evil snowmen 

We're gonna take over the world 

Let it snow, let it snow 

Now Fox News will need heat lamps 

Let it snow, let it snow 

I hope you concentrate in camp (Heil Elsa) 

We don't care who we have to slay 

Let my troops march on 

The cold's coming back and it's here to stay 

Tiana: I sunk like a brick 

Cinderella: Prince thinks I'm sick 

Elsa: Ice is melting quick 

Mulan: Now I have a lot of self esteem