Dear Diary Lyrics - Mood Muzik 3: The Album - Joe Budden

The soundtrack to my life is like CNN first sh*t 

Images like CNN but worse sh*t 

I would down the whole Pinot Gris 

But I'd see the Group Home without the Premo beats 

And it hurts my soul 

I'm a Warrior so though the odds is against a nigga, Dirk gon' choke 

Some people confide in the person that they sleep with 

I've learned there's no such thing as a secret (oh) 

I can't describe the feeling I get 

You was riding shotgun, I was wheeling the whip 

sh*t, I even let you rock out 

Being Bill Belichick, tapin' from the sidelines, stealin' my sh*t 

But dawg, you was like a mini me 

Mocked me, envied me, turns out YOU WAS BLOWIN' HOT AIR, KENNY G 

But you was cool, accepted you instantly 

Not a groupie but you had a few tendencies 

And though we share a few memories 

A couple wrong turns'll turn a friend to an enemy 

See, phony people like phony people 

Even you could be mistaken if you phone these people 

Look, when you invite the nerds to the cool table 

sh*t IS BOUND TO BREAK UP LIKE A POOL TABLE 

So wack dudes'll start feeling like the sh*t 

And you thinkin' it's you, its really where you sit 

Or maybe you was neglected 

'Cause when you take the front down and strip a nigga naked, he's dying to be accepted (oh) 

I did that, just the way you was 

Now you a stranger, nothing like the way you was 

But uh, you not real, you not Rachel 

You not Worm, you not Dill, sh*t, you not chill 

I thought you had some ... 

fu*k the fake sh*t, I'm really feel that you tryna screw me 

And you a little smarter than the average dude 

So it took a nigga just a little longer to see 

They tried to warn me, fought with my girl erry night about you 

sh*t only hurts 'cause she was right about you 

She run around wanting to shoot you the fair one 

I keep telling her "chill, I don't care none" 

I got another side I never showed to you 

The side where everybody is disposable 

See, relationships are never a threat 

'Cause I'll erase the history and act like we never met 

Become done giving a fu*k and done calling 

I got your e-mail, I was done way before then (oh) 

Dear Diary, I don't wanna keep sh*t inside of me 

I'd rather just speak to you privately 

Maybe its my mood, as far as I can see 

There's really no point in having this guy with me 

Change from the days of us getting in your truck 

It's bigger than one song, it's bigger than a buck 

It's bigger than me, bigger than buck 

Bigger than voodoo, its bigger than luck, sh*t, it's bigger than us 

I always call niggas fools for wanting to learn the hard way (when) 

When I'm really the fool for tryna teach 'em 

When the blinds leading the blind you cant reach 'em 

If niggas ain't as hungry as you then why feed 'em? 

Niggas ain't tryna be lead then why lead 'em? 

Having big problems with your dogs, why breed em? 

I'll keep my part up, keep my guard up 

Was like Thundercats but changed faster than Cheetara 

This a small part of a larger issue 

Sometimes acceptance is so hard to get to 

But we all equal, no one lower or above me 

I love my team just as much as they love me 

If not more 

If I turn the knob we all going through the door, I ain't coming back for y'all 

The whole crew feel the same as me 

How could you ignore something so plain to see? 

I'm being ig'nant, that get on my nerves every minute 

What's plain to some is really Burberry printed 

Being so real sometimes is a slow kill 

We was one squad, you broke out like Michael Scofield 

I want fillet mignon, you want oatmeal 

Add up our differences equals up to no meal 

No mills, yup, no deal, why you gotta chase sh*t 

To know it's no thrills 

For real, a nigga still beefin' with his baby momma (BUT!) 

Only thing my baby ain't a baby no more 

Hit her on MySpace, maybe she ain't shady no more 

Sent old girl a message, no reply but she read it 

Some things are so embedded and our heads is 

Looking for O's but get X's, dealing wit ya exes 

I was one long line away from the Tetris 

She sent me the L, that sent me to hell 

To the point where I was ignoring my son 

I don't see him, don't talk to him 

I don't greet him, don't walk wit' him 

But I pay for him like he's an object 

No matter how right I am, in court I CAN'T OBJECT 

Dear Diary, how could she deny me? 

How she go to bed without her F*CKING WITH HER PSYCHE? 

Is she wrong using him so I can come back? (or) 

Or am I wrong for wishing I COULD GET MY CUM BACK? 

Looking for sun, all I see is the hail 

How I'm gon' trust? All I see is betrayal 

It's like they keep trying more and more to subdue me 

And only you understand, signed by yours truly