99 Problems (remix) Lyrics - Jay-z

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol 

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed 

Rap critics that say he's money, cash, hoes 

I'm from the hood, stupid; what type of facts are those? 

If you grew up with holes in your 

You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough 

I'm like, fuck critics; you can kiss my whole asshole 

If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward 

Got beef with radio if I don't play they show 

They don't play my hits; well, I don't give a shit, so 

Rap mags try and use my black ass 

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers 

I don't know what you take me as 

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has 

I'm from rags to riches, niggas; I ain't dumb 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

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99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

The year is 94, in my trunk is raw 

In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin' law 

Got two choices, y'all: pull over the car or [(Hmm...)] 

Bounce on the devil; put the pedal to the floor 

And I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake 

Plus I got a few dollars; I can fight the case 

So I pull over to the side of the road 

I heard, "Son, do you know what I'm stoppin' you for?" 

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low 

Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know 

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'? 

"Well, you was doin' fifty-five in a fifty-four 

License and registration and step out of the car 

Are you carryin' a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are" 

I ain't steppin out of shit; all my paper's legit 

"Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?" 

Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back 

And I know my rights, so you gon' need a warrant for that 

"Aren't you sharp as a tack? 

You some type of lawyer or somethin', somebody important or somethin'?" 

Child, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit 

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit 

"Well, we'll see how smart you are when the canine comes" 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

Photos 

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

Now once upon a time, not too long ago 

A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe 

This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy 

But a pussy havin' no goddamn sense; try and push me 

I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord 

Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform 

You know the type, loud as a motorbike 

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight 

And only thing that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin' and 

He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the captain 

And there I go, trapped in the kit-kat again 

Back through the system with the riff-raff again 

Fiends on the floor, scratchin' again 

Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin' them 

D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again 

Half a mill' for bail cause I'm African 

All because this fool was harassin' them 

Tryin to play the boy like he's saccharin 

But ain't nuttin sweet, 'bout how I hold my gun 

I got 99 problems; bein' a bitch ain't one; hit me 

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

99 problems, but a bitch ain't one 

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one; hit me 

Whoo 

Whoo 

Uh, uh 

Havin' girl problems? I feel bad for you, son 

I got 99 problems, and a bitch ain't one. 

Ha-ha. You crazy for this one, Rick. This is your boy!