How To Be Single On Valentine's Day Lyrics - Jacksfilms

[Verse 1:] 

Yesterday 

I asked you 

How to spend Valentine's Day 

If you're single 

Here are your answers 

Get wasted 

In the basement 

Disappoint yourself in bed 

Rob a bank 

Have a sad wank 

Can't be single if you're dead 

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Create another Horcrux 

Give another whore bucks 

Curl up in a ball and cry 

Gasoline, zucchini, vaseline 

Die, die, Valen-die 

Rantin' on Twitter about how love isn't real 

Takin' a shot whenever I feel 

Go on with my life, like any other day? 

I'm not single, I have anime! 

[Chorus:] 

Valentine's Day has reared its ugly head 

Well it ain't that fun 

If you ain't got someone 

To cuddle all day in your bed 

Valentine's Day means I need alcohol 

At least you don't need money 

To spend on your honey 

If you don't have a honey at all 

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[Verse 2:] 

Gently weeping on the nearest shoulder 

Alone in the bathtub with my toaster 

I stay in bed all day pretending that I'm sick 

Enjoying what I have and destroying my dick 

In the club, at the tree house (no girls allowed) 

Poking holes in your friend's condoms (wow) 

Stalking exes, playing for honor 

Spending the evening with Rosie Palmer 

[Bridge:] 

Beating my meat, beating my meat, beat the meat 

Eat, sleep, beat meat, repeat 

Beat meat beat meat beat meat beat meat 

Nickelodeon! 

(nah) 

[Chorus:] 

Valentine's Day has reared its ugly head 

Well it ain't that fun 

If you ain't got someone 

To cuddle all day in your bed 

Valentine's Day means I need alcohol 

At least you don't need money 

To spend on your honey 

If you don't have a honey at all