The Dating Game Lyrics - Insane Clown Posse

Let's meet contestant number 1 

He's a schizophrenic serial killer clown 

Who says women love his sexy smile 

Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon 

Sharon, what's your question? 

Contestant number 1, I believe first impressions last forever 

So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house 

And have dinner with me and my family, tell me 

What you'd do to make that first impression really stick 

Let's see, well I'd have to think about it 

I might show up in a tux but I doubt it 

I'd probably just show up naked like I always do 

And look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you 

Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti 

I pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready 

Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed 

I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin' lip 

It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother 

I'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother 

I'm steady starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this 

You know for only 13 she got some big tits 

After that, your dad would try to trip again 

And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin 

After your mom does the dishes and the silverware 

I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear 

Now let's meet contestant number 2 

He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak 

Who works for the dark carnival 

He says women call him stretch nutz 

Sharon, let's hear your question 

I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotion 

A man who expresses himself in his own special way 

Number 2, if you fell in love with me 

Exactly how would you let me know? 

First thing, I could never love you 

You sound like richy bitch yo, fuck you 

But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care 

By takin' all these other motherfuckers outta here 

I'd go through your phone book and wack 'em all 

Then find contestant number 1 and break his fuckin' jaw 

(What?) 

Anyone who looked at you would have to pay 

I'd be blowin' fuckin nuggets off all day 

I'd grab your titties and stretch 'em down past your waist 

Let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face 

I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can, get ya naked 

And hit it like a cave man 

Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand 

I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin' 

As you spit it all out I rub your back and grab 

Your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack 

Well, it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing 

With sensitivity, Sharon, it's a tough choice so far 

Sharon, let's have your last question and see 

Which one is gonna win the rights to your neden 

Okay, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me 

At the same time, tell me, how would you each 

Get my attention and what would your pick up line be 

Whoever's the smoothest wins 

Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar and tell you 

That I can't believe how fucking fat you are 

I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake 

And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake 

Fuck that, you'd be jackin' me quick 

I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick 

And then to get your attention in a crowded place 

I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face 

Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo that'll get her 

Tell her that she's fat, yeah that'll work even better 

Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap shit you don't want 

He's mad whack, I walked into a bar and there he was 

Standing on a bucket tryin' to fuck it 

It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama 

Damn dawg, how ya gonna dis your mama?