If Lyrics - Bizzar - Insane Clown Posse

If I was your tv I'd be like "Look at me" 

If I was a shooting star I'd be like "Peace!" 

If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like "Hell naw!' 

If I was a hotties thong I'd be like "Awwww..." 

If I was a cuss word I'd just be like "fuck" 

If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like "Sup?" 

If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit 

If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like "man this is bullshit" 

If I was the tires on your car I'd be like "NEEEAAAWWW" 

If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like "Aww fuck" 

If I was a balloon I'd be like "pap" 

If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce 

If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say "the point 103" 

If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like "umm...ok" 

If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like "fuck us! And 

I won't read this, even us motherfucker!" 

If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up 

If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like "THONNNKK!!" 

If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like "Man why do 

you try to bite me every time we try to eat?" 

If I was a chair I'd be like "Sit here" 

If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair 

If I was your muffler I'd be like "Shhh, quietly" 

If I was a price tag I'd be like "You ain't buying me" 

If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch] 

If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch] 

If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static] 

"Tune that motherfucker in" 

If I was Barry White I'd be like "What up y'all?" 

If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like "Boing" 

If I was your dead uncle I'd be like "....." 

If I was a raindrop I'd just be like "drip" 

And If I had an ax to your neck I might say "CHOP!" 

[Chorus] 

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be 

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be 

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be 

If I was, if I was, but I'll never be 

If I was, if I was, but you're killing me 

If I was, if I was. but you're killing me 

If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I'd fly through the air into and 

ocean of juggalos 

If I was Andre The Giant "This is how I'd be talking" 

If I was Father MC I'd be like "Now what happened?" 

If I was a mirror, I'd find another mirror 

and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear 

If I was a slider I'd slide out your butt 

I'd be floatin' in your toilet lookin' at you like "What?" 

If I was a pilot I'd be like "This is air traffic control" 

If I was John Denver I'd be like "Nooooooo!!!!" 

If I was a switch I'd be like "Flick me, yoo-hoo" 

If I was a London cop car I'd be like "Wee-oop wee-oop" 

If I was Chewbacca I'd get a fresh ass fade 

If I was Vanilla Ice I'd be like "Fuck y'all. I'm still paid" 

If I was a stop sign I'd just be like "Stop" 

If I was your wooden leg I'd still be giving you the hip-hop 

[Chorus}