When I Die Lyrics - Singles - Ill Bill

[Verse 1] 

I left you outside the gates of heaven - They wouldn't let me in 

I waved goodbye as you stepped within 

It's like hell on earth without you near 

I named my daughter after you 

So when she smiles it's sorta like you're still here 

It's kinda crazy how time flies - 25 years since my grandmom died 

But it feels like just yesterday when we was all laughing together 

Those happy memories are so vivid, they'll last me forever 

And yet you're still here somehow - I still feel your presence 

I credit you for my inner strength - I feel it in my essense 

In my soul, in my inner being, in my genetics 

I wouldn't exist if you hadn't persisted through the trenches 

I wouldn't have been a lyricist, I owe you every sentence 

Every verse I've ever written - Your energy is kinetic 

Though I've grown up, I'm still heartbroken, aching to cry 

Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die 

[Verse 2] 

I left you outside the gates of heaven - They wouldn't let me in 

I waved goodbye as you stepped within 

It's like hell on earth without you near 

I named my label after you 

So when I rhyme it's sorta like you're still here 

It's been a year - Still in shock about exactly what happened to you 

Made a song for you called "My Uncle" 

I was just rapping to you, just talking to you 

I just saw you at my mother's house 

I can't believe I just bought a coffin for you 

We always feared that you would die from an overdose 

God knows you loved to do drugs, it swallowed you whole 

But in the end, drugs didn't kill you, cancer did 

Why do good people die young? I don't know what the answer is 

All I know is I worshipped you as a scrappy kid 

Being around you made me feel cooler than rapping did 

& that's pretty fuckin cool, trust me 

I was embarrassed when you started smoking crack 

Honestly, it crushed me - Swept in under the rug 

Started smoking weed & popping acid but managed to not do the uglier drugs 

We grew apart after my grandmother died 

Homeless, in and outta jail, we stopped relating to each others lives 

But years later, we connected once again 

Not just as nephew and uncle, but as homies, we were friends 

Though I've grown up, I'm still heartbroken, aching to cry 

Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die