Razzle In My Pocket Lyrics - Ian Dury

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick. 

South Street Romford, shopping arcade 

Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid 

Inside my jacket and away double quick. 

Good sense told me, once was enough 

But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff 

With the Razzle in my pocket, back to have another peek 

Instead of being sneeky I strolled inside, 

I put my thieving hand on something rude 

I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes 

'Hold on sonny' said a voice at my side 

'I think you've taken one of my books' 

Passers by gave me dirty looks 

'Not me mister' I bravely lied 

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We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop 

'If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan 

Have you got any form, were you on your own? 

Round to the station and we'll tell the cops' 

'I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash 

Here's the book back, and here's the cash 

I never stole before, I promise I'll stop' 

Photos 

'Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes 

If we go to the law another thief is born 

And I'll get the book back, creased and torn 

So return what you've taken and apologise' 

I gave him back his nudie book 

I said I was sorry, I slung my hook 

With the Razzle in my pocket as the second prize