Heather Nicole Lyrics - Raw - Hopsin

At night in my window I see a silhouette 

Crying heavy tears look how wet my pillow gets 

Throughout my days I don't smile I just get upset 

And since you left look at all the shit that it affects 

I take a picture of your face and I just hold it up 

Kiss it, then reminisce on when it was both of us 

It's hard for me to open up, I'm always talking to myself 

But to nobody else 

Some say that church or maybe counseling could probably help 

But they don't know about all of my idiotic lies 

All the fucking times I left you traumatized 

Swore up and down to you saying I'm a try 

And never did, I try not to cry but I feel bad I didn't apologize 

It's time I cough it up and tell more, my soul is taken never sell yours 

I did some shit I probably coulda been in jail for 

Bury me deep inside hells core 

And don't let me out until you hear bells roar 

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She said, you never loved me 

You just controlled me 

If you fuck around I'm calling the police 

But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry 

Oh how I wish that could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you 

It's hard to forget, my heart is a brick 

I tell myself Marcus, I thought that you were smarter than this 

The mess I put you through was worse than pearl harbor and shit 

I'd always harm you and flip, mentally scar you and trip 

Sometimes I'd argue and get, the nerve to call you a bitch 

Then bruise your back against the dresser that I tossed you against 

My Juliet at the time I never thought you was it 

I do now but shit your gone, so I just offer you this 

A song to you, through it I open the crack in my chest 

And show the whole world I've always had a lack of respect 

For women who went to my life, I look to vengeance as knife 

Intentions to fight, if you thinking I was senseless you right 

Now every sentence I write, I think twice on it so I don't regret 

Cause only stress lies in a simple mind of loneliness 

I'm an unholy mess, put me in a hole to rest 

Welcome to my life this is how painful my stories get 

She said, you never loved me 

You just controlled me 

If you fuck around I'm calling the police 

But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry 

Oh how I wish that could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you 

Now use this track as a lesson 

All you guys out there who have some aggression 

Towards your woman it don't have to get hectic 

That crap is pathetic, now look at me I have to regret it 

I can't go near her or nothing, she'll probably have me arrested 

The only thing I could do is just make a track with a message 

And hope she hears it so she could know I was badly infected 

I never meant to be that type of guy 

But I realized that I was, and because of it I'm throwing my sinister life aside 

I can cry at any moment just thinking about it 

Sometimes I hide it from the folks that I'm hanging around with 

I should apply for a new soul cause I think it's invalid 

Somebody told me when I die I'll be safe but I doubt it 

The grudge she holds against me, it hurts me so severely 

She won't come near me, I thought that time was supposed to cure me 

I'm so alone and weary, writing songs to heal me 

I swear that I'm sorry Heather, I mean it so sincerely 

She said, you never loved me 

You just controlled me 

If you fuck around I'm calling the police 

But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry 

Oh how I wish that could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you 

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry 

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you