Little League Lyrics - Hoodie Allen

[Verse 1: Sarcastic spoken: Auto-tune] 

Ah, yeah, this is my year baby 

I feel like a real rapper now, like big leagues, man 

Talk about Ciroc, what rhymes with ciroc? 

(Michael clean up your room!) 

Cock, cock 

(Clean up your room your baseball cleats are all over the floor) 

Mom, I'm recording for the studs, stud-stud Friday (go be a stud later) 

Uh, I fucking hate my mom 

Yeah, I got my eyes on you 

I think you're almost fifteen 

I wanna motorboat on that tushie 

Ciroc's on me, I'll buy it all for you 

But please don't show me I.D 

I'm almost 28 but I'm thirsty 

For frat parties 

'Cause we're in Rhode Island you know it (Rhode Island) 

My fans are all in little league teams (little league) 

'Cause we're in Rhode Island and you know it 

Jon Kilmer auto-tuned it for me 

Just hold on we're jacking flows 

Just hold on we're jacking flows 

It's hard to be original 

Just hold on I'm jacking off 

(Michael did you clean up your room?) 

Mom, I will get to it, this is an original creation 

I am a fuckin'...I'm not a fuckboy 

I'm not a fuckboy, ok? 

I fuck boys, but I'm not a fuckboy 

(laughing) let's go 

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[Interlude: Spoken regular] 

Dude, I really didn't want to do this 

I've never seen somebody get so offended by one line 

This dude still thinks he's in high school and I think he's 26 

You ever see back to the future? 

I'm Marty McFly, and that makes you Biff 

I apologize for any shared fans but I have to ruin his career 

So you can just listen to me later, alright 

[Verse 2] 

Ayo, Mike Stud, white scrub 

Thought you made a nice one 

Coming after me? Well where the fuck do you get advice from? 

We could start a fight club I'll be Tyler Durden 

Murder every rapper talking especially ones you ain't heard of 

Conflicted (why) 'Cause I've given into this dipshit 

Who's just a carbon copy of everyone in this business 

I'm playing sold out shows, you ain't playing with no hoes 

Unless you count your fuckin' crew because all them dudes is bitches 

Look at your statistics, you ain't selling tickets 

Excuse me but have you heard of Mike Stud? Crickets 

For a strong dude you make some fuckin' weak shit 

Hooking up with underage girls, homie that's creep shit 

If my girl's a five, your girl's non-existent 

The only way you'll get a full ride is hopping on this dick 

Which you do, and that's just a mistake 

You were an athlete at Duke you should be used to getting raped 

Touring must be boring when your fans only react to popular 90's covers and never heard of your tracks 

It's like "We came here to dance, do molly and see boobies" 

That's why the only ones at your shows are male groupies 

And I'mma dork, yea I'mma Ivy League graduate 

Well at least I didn't start rapping on accident 

Make your fans disappear like a fucking magic trick 

If my careers a dick, you'd be the only one that's grabbing it 

You're less than average, and I ain't talking batting 

When you try to swing at me I'll fucking show you what a challenge is 

You're defenseless, let me finish your sentence 

"It's Mike Stud homie, sports reference" 

[Interlude: Spoken Regular] 

(Sports reference 

Shit is honestly so predictable 

You're the lowest hanging fruit 

Do you even know what that means? 

Ugh, Nevermind) 

[Verse 3] 

I've inspired like millions of people with all my tracks 

And you've inspired millions of Huey Macks 

Yo congrats, I hope you hang yourself with a rope 

(Come at your best friend) like you're my boy blue, Nope 

Peach Cirocs you like Peach Cirocs, you be eating cocks 

You're an ugly prince you fucking need a job 

Take your girl and lead her on, homie you been reading wrong 

Honestly I'm just surprised that you can read at all 

You're the type of guy 

To take a shower at the Y 

And put your dick out with your friends 

So you can all compare the size 

I'm tired of this talking 

Your shit is not appealing 

I thought you were a pitcher why the fuck you catching feelings? 

Think you've hit a wall better yet you've hit your ceiling 

Wait 'till Drake drops some new shit so you can steal it 

I hate to break it to you but everyone thinks your rap sucks 

I even asked your crew and they're like "Uhyup" 

Quit while you're already choking on dicks 

This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit 

Quit while you're already choking on dicks 

This shit is comic relief and you ain't closer to shit 

Hoodie